Tag Archives: Michelle Ghilotti

“I Am Not Afraid To Die” (She Said)

It’s not the dying, it’s the saying goodbye to you…

For Dino’s birthday last month, I had special people over for dinner who have intimately known my life since he and my Mom passed.

That night, the invitation was to bring a written piece about life or death to share.

Mine had one main theme to it and this is a partial share below, maybe you’ll resonate with the sentiment ~

🕊❤️

“I am not afraid to die, it’s just that one devastating moment of saying goodbye…to you.

How could this be over for us, for our friendship and for our great love affair already?

This is why I will die…because emotionally I will not ::ever:: be done loving you.”

Feel this about your relationships or want to feel this way?

Lean in. Even if it hurts, and especially when it does, lean in.

Clear your own bullsh*t (best thing you can do for your relationships). Know everyone is doing as much as they know how with what they have emotionally available to them. Have the conversations. Give people a second and a third chance. And also, let them go.

Let’s make it hurt at the end for only this reason ~ because we have so fully loved.

Conscious Dying Principles

It’s about being radically present.

It’s about easing one’s fear.

It’s about showing no judgment.

It’s about showing they’re undoubtedly loved.

I read this list again as I’m typing it and it could be about any great relationship or evolved connection, but today I share these as four of the key principles of conscious dying and end of life doula/death doula or soul midwife work.

I posted a few stories a couple days ago and will likely post more about this work that’s touching so many parts of my life right now…parts of my past, parts of my present, and — really — parts of *each* of our future.

Friends have joked with me that nobody grows up and says I want to help people die, but we do need more people to help people die…but die how?

…to die with dignity, to die with love, to die with someone by their side, to die feeling peace and that, in some ways, those around us are doing some part of it *with* us (as in any great relationship or friendship, when shit is really hitting the fan this is what you want to hear or feel: “I’m here and we’re going to do this together.”).

Most of all, what more of us who are nearing the end want and need (even if we don’t have the words for it) is to be supported to (still) live while we are dying, because there is still life and fulfillment and connection (so much of all three) to be had.

At one point, months ago, I wondered how my identity and success coaching in business with women entrepreneurs connected with this death/living while dying work?

And though in many ways, it doesn’t really matter, here’s one way it does: we are ALL trying to find our way…whether it is in business, life OR in death.

The work I do in whatever form or name it comes dressed as is about the same each time ~> about radically expressing yourself (a bolstered sense of self), showing the world who you truly are (more is “revealed” when we do this) and doing what is genuinely joyful and fulfilling for you each day (carpe diem), all of it, everyday ~ like a prescription ~ down to your very last breath.

Respecting Kids

We were talking last night (after this hike) how much we love being parents —

But it’s not just about our kid, it’s about loving on all kids around us.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve felt a deep connection to the idea of respecting kids.

When I was 17, I picked up my first book on marriage and family child counseling because I wanted children to feel the love of their parents and feel the love between their parents.

I knew back then that this was so important, in order for those kids to grow up to feel whole and confident within themselves and to become nurturing adults.

I did not get my MFCC license, however, the work I do today is pretty darn close, even though a lot of it the first two decades was through the start of purposeful businesses…

Helping women create businesses that are deep reflections of who they are and what they want to create in the world, as well as helping them create better relationships (through the one with themselves, identity work is great at this) is deeply gratifying & will only grow deeper roots as I bring in conscious dying coaching principles to the way I do 1-on-1 & group work.

Too often kids are not thought of as needing to be treated as we do adults ~> when we are both humans, and as humans, we need the exact same things!

And…

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…most times in families (society), kids are not brought into the conversation, are not asked how they feel, are not asked for their ideas and are definitely not respected in a more equal way to adults.

Crazy making!

They deserve to be and everyyyy time they are or every time you sit and only have eyes for them and genuinely share your presence (and share more of yourself!) with them, they become more of who they are meant to be, they need less external validation as they age and they go out into the world with more than an intellectual capability, one we call emotional intelligence…

(((To the kid in you, you’re deeply loved and respected))) and to your kids, show them, really show (up for) them.

Meet their innate wisdom with your presence & mutual respect & you will be giving them the gift of living into their true creative power.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life!

Life is good.

Super Connected Yet Super Free

Unconditional love means promising to love someone without the condition that they not fault or fumble to be worthy of a tender, loving care…

The type of love that won’t so easily (like the wind or tantrum-like whim) be snatched away every time something doesn’t go your way (a big one for those of us parents as many of us were raised inside this unhealthy way of being in family…you’re “good”, so I’ll be nice to you or you’re “bad”, so I won’t speak to you for two days…there are so many wounded children acting as both wives and husbands — and as parents).

Unconditional love is a promise to be there through it all, AS WELL AS as a promise to unconditionally at least like, if not love yourself enough, to do the work on YOU to even be able to whisper that you can love someone through their blunders…to then, ultimately, experience a healthy, fun and grounded in truth partnership.

This is the kind of relationship that ultimately makes each of you feel super connected and, at the same time, super free.

I love feeling super connected and, at the same time, super free. 🙂

You can continue to wildly grow together if the roots beneath ground are reaching for one another, equally through drought as through abundant times, and that happens as a byproduct of each of you tending to your own soil (for when we don’t, we lash out and take things away, namely our love, when love, like a root, is not that easy to take away!).

Unconditional love is a free flow process that needs to F R E E F L O W.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life!

Life is good.