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What Grief Taught Me

What Grief Taught Me

I recently took a walk down memory lane regarding what I’ve learned over the last decade about grief, since losing my mother and brother —hi to my public healing, remembrance and celebration journal. 

This month was the 11th anniversary of my brother, Dino’s passing (this was also the day we lost my Mom…she died of a broken heart almost exactly two years later). This death anniversary fell on Mother’s Day, which was the holiday it fell on 11 years ago.

I threw myself even more at life in losing theirs.

Grief grew me up…

What it taught me:

I don’t need it to be sunny all the time!

Grief gave me a slew of answers to many things, not the least of which was that seasons don’t just happen outside, but inside too.

Grief doesn’t just go away, it needs your full participation. Just like you feel you need the person who’s no longer here, grief needs you, too.

What Grief Taught Me

Treat the very next person you’re with — stranger or someone familiar — as if they’re the very person you’ve lost. 

Give from your pain. I gave the compliment, I spent the quality time, I even went on what I called The Friendship Experiment over a year to visit with friends I had lost touch with…And I traveled to Greece to help Syrian refugees, I created events to empower women and started the Greater Good Parties in LA. I also started prison reform work and did other talks and a podcast alongside Josh. Also, I also worked for a year and a half at Hospice with a few elderly moms whose children lived too far away to be with them during their final days.

Love fiercely and.spend.the.time! Go for no regrets. Plus— family first.

I told Josh after a year after having lost them that I had no regrets. Our love had been lived out in the open and we enjoyed each other endlessly. The love I gave them felt free and constant and I don’t doubt they knew how much I cared for them. It was and still is a healing balm for me. So, dance, travel to them, tell them how much they mean to you, be goofy, be warm, stay affectionate and throw all the parties!

What more could I want other than no regrets?

What Grief Taught Me
What Grief Taught Me

Ultimately what grief taught me: love.
And, what they taught me: love.

It always comes back to that, doesn’t it?

True.
Endless. 
Love.

What have you learned during grief? My heart goes out to you! Feel free to share this to anyone you feel might benefit from it.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life!

Life is good.

Expat Living

Expat Living

We moved from Amsterdam in ‘05 and have visited six or seven times since. Every time we’re back, we visit our old apartment on the Prinsengracht to feel the flood of memories…

If they’re home, we sit and visit with our old landlords. We also always marvel at how things aligned to meet at work in SF (when I told myself I would not date at work) and marvel, too, at the adventure since…especially having had Nolan in this quaint city that gifted us much life and learning (for those curious about the differences present in expat living…the fact that I got a nurse, as all new mothers do in The Netherlands, eight hours a day for a full week to help me with the baby as part of my wellness/healthcare was extraordinary). 

Follow our latest expat journeys in France on our channel on IG at @hesaidshesaidchannel.

In other news, our Amsterdammertje has completed his first year of university! His French is coming way along, too

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life!

Life is good.

Being Friends With Your Kids

Being Friends With Your Kids

I had an absolute ball being Nolan’s mom when he was younger. We had so much fun (silly fun ::: play fun, all of it)! Plus, sweet after school naps on the couch together as he became a young boy…

I still have a ball with him now as he rounds the corner to 19 in a few months (one of the people I always want to hang with here in Paris or anywhere)!

But there’s something also different now…an appreciation I could’ve never anticipated when we took this photo when he was seven…

And that is the depth and uniqueness of relationship we’d grow inside our weekly talks about life, as well as the comfort we feel around one another to do so; to talk about everything under the sun.

It has been said — don’t be friends with your children, but if being someone’s “friend” is creating a unique bond with them through mutual affection and a sharing of and from your heart, I hope all of us become friends with our sons and daughters! (parenting coaches/parenting experts come for me)

Really though — isn’t that exactly what we do with friends ~ talk and talk and feel closer and closer {as friends} as a result?

You can be friends with your family. And your children are not exempt from this truth.

As family, we are also friends.

Mother.

Son.

Can be and are — the best of friends.

I’m still mama, he’s still my son, AND…

AND we are also more!

What do YOU think? Do you think parents can be friends either their kids?

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life!

Life is good.