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Vulnerability Exercise

Vulnerability Exercise

I did something last week which required much strength and vulnerability. It reminded me that we needn’t solider through life. A Vulnerability Exercise.

Most of us do, however — much of the time not knowing that’s what we’re doing. As kids, we’re not taught this and don’t know of other alternatives.

The days I spent in solitude and without food two summers ago were a regal reminder that although experiences in life, especially those we can’t control, might be painful, we needn’t cause ourselves more suffer-ing [pain, many times, is and can be transient, suffering stays with us, inside all our nooks and crannies].

Said another way, if we allow ourselves to feel sadness and/or pain versus downplaying it, “swallowing” it or spiritual bypassing it, we save ourselves from moving to the more tough phase to get out of called suffering.

I’m convinced more everyday, in my own life, and with clients, too, that everyone needs a grief, divorce or ‘I just went through something hard’ timeout or vacation. Unfortunately, our society, families, and work culture are not set up that way (not in muscle memory, nor in habit/rule)…

I didn’t soldier through my chosen challenge high up in the sequoias. instead, I genuinely and fully enjoyed it. Every day of the nine days with others and the handful without people. I’ve even called it one of the biggest honors of my life. But were there moments that were painful? Absolutely.

And/but have I soldiered or suffered through times off that mountain ~ before and after? Absolutely.

We don’t learn the difference between pain and suffering when young. Nor do we learn how to support our nervous systems or nurture our monkey mind ways of thinking (suffering). But I wish we did and at younger and younger ages. School doesn’t teach us and if our parents don’t know it, we won’t know it.

Last week also reminded me how important parents, better said, *nurturers* are to children and how MUCH they need us to be their advocates, guides and protectors ~ their teachers of how not to suffer in life, but to clear emotion, connect with others, communicate and create a new life or a new you when something tough hits.

One thing I’ve definitely learned over and over again being Nolan‘s mom is: be his *nurturer* not simply his parent.

I got home from my experience last week. I had this post from beloved photographer Sonia Tapia waiting for me. It felt like perfect timing (because it was). 

I‘ve seen this photo before and love it (she took my vision and shot ideas of the work I’m stepping into after 20 years in business and brought it to l i f e). What I loved seeing were the words attached to it and how representative they were of what I experienced earlier that morning — grace…more than anything, grace.  

To the world of women nurturers who are gracefully (which does not mean “not messy”…grace by another name is surrender and surrender is messy) stepping into your next season. Focus more on yourselves after tough life moments that have caused you pain and/or suffering, may you soldier no more (or very, very little)…

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.

Sage Advice From My Late Mother

Ladies, don’t forget about yourselves.

Do for yourself ~ live a life that is (also) very much yours. 

If anything, it makes you more of a [wise] woman, more of a wife, more of a mother…all of it, more. 

Giving from a full cup means you continue to feel full. 

Thank you, Mom!

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.

The End Of Life (“I’m Not Done”)

The End Of Life (“I’m Not Done”)

Energetically, I’m a baby chick.

Standing in the kitchen at 7:30 in the morning recently, we had such a lovely *and* very real conversation about something that Josh is handling at work that goes back to what happened on the steps of the Capitol on 1/6.

We love bringing Nolan into our lives and telling him just as much as we might tell each other about whatever is going on for us personally or professionally.

As Josh was explaining the legal action that needs to be taken that he’s leading, I had an overwhelming feeling of appreciation for, not only the moment we were bringing Nolan into, but for the son, the young man, that I get to commune with.

I love my time with him. And his spontaneous hugs throughout the day, especially throughout the last 10 months, have been especially sweet.

I know you’ve felt that feeling when you’re looking at your son or daughter, regardless of their age, and feel the love coming through your entire being?

That was this moment.

And it’s tied to this feeling of simply wanting more time with Nolan and not wanting this life I have *with* him to end.

This last year served as reflection (as many years do) and had me and certain friends think more / feel more of our own mortality.

As they know, because I’ve shared it with them, I’m not afraid to die, but when I have these moments with Josh and Nolan (and especially Nolan these days) when I feel immense love for him/them, I think to myself I’M NOT DONE.

It’s true that I don’t feel afraid to die (my relationship to death has always been that it’s part of the cycle of life ~ so do do do and be be be (LIVE!) so when it comes, you’re “ready”), but I am afraid to feel not done. Or — said another way…to lose out on time with him, regardless of my age.

In many ways, I want to die feeling alive, and at the same time I want to die feeling like every last drop of who I was and could bring was used (and then some). Maybe it’s the same thing?

Perhaps if there’s a thought going through our minds at the end it is exactly that: I’m not done, I’m not done, I’m not done (and yet our vehicles are…done).

So, with these beautiful thoughts rolling on through that help me live better –

…I’m rolling back sweater sleeves and staying in very warm slippers this morning (must turn on heat — how oh how is Nolan in bare feet?!) and ready to continue doing the work this family and that our country and world needs, too. Energetically, I’m (channeling) a baby chick.

I know so many of us have much to give ~ and 2021, as with every year, is the year to  g i v e  i t.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good,

Business Story: My Son & Recess

Nolan was born two blocks from this canal in Amsterdam.

As I continue leading the Emergence mastermind, I think of Nolan at around seven or eight years old asking me why I had to go away to NYC on a business trip.

I sat down and asked him this question which is one of my favorite conversations with him as a younger boy:

What’s your favorite thing about school? (I knew what he was going to say [and therefore how I would continue to respond], I was leading the witness)…

Recess, he said.

Oh, yes, recess is sooo fun. Mama doesn’t have recess like you do anymore, but, my recess now comes in the work I love to do and in the trips I take to keep doing business. I’ll only be gone for a few days, I reassured him. And I’ll come back and we’ll have so much fun again…Nolie, don’t you notice that I come back *even* more silly from my trips? (I said almost exactly this).

I’ll never forget his cute few second pause, all while cocking his head to the side as if thinking through the validity of my statement.

Well, yessss, he said (he didn’t want to admit it, but I did always come back even more playful). 

During the pandemic, I’ve been busier than ever…I’ve run my virtual LIVEN retreat, onboarded new private clients, started working on multiple projects with Josh, started the REIMAGINE council of women and now The Emergence Mastermind and began creating around the idea of the vision quest, all new offerings that took (and are taking) many, many hours to birth.

It all came from listening to what my community and THE community needed for such a time as this.

It can’t be the same because no one is the same, especially right now. Not one person is the same they were eight months ago! 

For such a time as this, what does your family really need? Hear the answer and go one more step or level deeper. For such a time as this, what do your clients need? Ditto. For such a time as this, what oh what, do YOU need? Go one step or level deeper for *all* your relationships right now, as they’re the connections giving you/us LIFE…

I love the following question almost as much as the question I asked Nolan those years ago: what do my clients OR my family need to hear from me today; how can I affirm them (especially during a hard time as we are all living in at the moment).

What does *your* family, kids, clients, friends, or the next store clerk you’ll see need to hear from you today, how can you affirm *them*?

We need to be affirmed right now — and the need is of a different caliber, a different quality and of a unique depth, 
f o r s u c h a t i m e a s t h i s. 

Years ago, I tried doing it the way most coaches did and it didn’t jive. In fact, there’s a lot of things about the industry that don’t jive with me, and so I’ve continued to do it another way. And much of it really does go back to the idea of recess.

As I support others in their growth, how can I, myself, feel in play? How can I keep my sense of fun, my playfulness and my sillliness as I work? And (always) ~ how can I keep doing work that feels meaningful? 

It hasn’t come in putting the same thing out there over and over again just to make it easy on myself or just to make money (of course, there are and have been courses and offerings that are always needed, but those aside, creating anew feels really aligned). 

Making money is one thing, but genuinely listening to what others are going through and creating for that specific need inside a very specific time (and with a specific tone, energy and rhythm) is something else.

Deeply and madly listen to what your people at home need right now ~ to what your clients genuinely need and use that in a way you haven’t before. 

It takes a lot of work to create something new, but do it because you feel a unique fulfillment and because it matches the times and the many very real conversations being had.

Laboring to birth Nolan (in addition to the surgeries that followed) was extremely challenging, but those long nights, pain and “work” made it all the purposeful and rewarding.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good!