No Eating For 3 Days (Sign Me Up!)

No Eating For 3 Days (Sign Me Up!)

We had a moving experience recently in Tulum that reminded me that all fear is connected to the fear of death (our own death)…

Cut to July of 2019:

I’ve never felt such strong feelings of fear before arriving to the place where my quest would begin.

The drive up there (four hours), and too much time to think, was as close to panic as I’ve ever felt.

I was more afraid of “surprising” the bears or mountain lions (aka, them surprising me) than of being alone for four days without food or shelter [when Josh and Nolan picked me up after the total of nine days away, Josh and I cried – as we hugged, he told me how worried he had been that I would be feeling lonely).

As I’ve shared a couple times before, though I was alone (well, -ish because ~> ), I was not and could not be lonely.

There was and is so much in nature that is home (nature’s the tea, milk & honey, it really is).

The second I got out of the car and my feet touched ground, things settled dramatically. I love that the very place that we call ‘the wild’ is so absolutely nurturing.

The quest [like other challenging things, both chosen & unchosen] changed so much of how I continue to relate to and digest fear, not to mention digest many other things.

My mind has been changed and my body has changed, too — it’s changed the way I look at food, water and hunger (Michelle, what are you *really* hungry for? A change in your life? Healing around ____? Finally having that tough conversation? A closer connection to ____?).

It’s also shifted the way I do things in the name of health and for my body — all with a deeper understanding around why…why we look at food (or alcohol) to quench a hunger or thirst that can only be helped by looking more deeply at our lives, at our communication and/or at our relationships. Or, conversely – why we do things in the name of “health” that are, in truth, not health-y.

The focus brought by only drinking water for breakfast, lunch, dinner (and snacks ~ ever had a snack of water? ) is curiously satiating. You have time for so much more of the important stuff!

And, did I mention there’s nowhere to run from your feelings? You have no physical energy (lots of another kind & brand name, however), you don’t really know where you are (so which way do you go?) and last – running might stir the beautiful sleeping creatures you’re sharing space with [I did a ritual the first night on my solo time thanking all the tiniest and largest of creatures 7,000 feet up for allowing me to create home in theirs and it was one of my favorite prayers while there].

Minute after minute, hour after hour and day after day, you get to sit there for four days and work it out. Every fear you have about a noise in the distance or inside your belly, you can’t escape, you can only work with to get to the other side.

I now drink more water than I ever have (I start out at 6:15am with 20 oz), I don’t have many cravings, if at all anymore, and, in many ways my gut has reset (for someone with gut sensitivities, this has been awe-some).

When we went on lockdown for the first time in March, I told Josh I wanted to do it in a way that made me feel good.

When I came back from quest, I had no interest in lemon drop martinis or any kind of alcohol (or sugar) or other things that might make me feel “good” for the moment.

I was interested in the things that made me feel well.

Good and well ~ different. One is temporary…

I wanted to continue wellness, even (and especially) if things got more stressful or isolating inside the pandemic.

We continued with our workouts and he, too, had already shifted his own mindset around alcohol in January when he decided to start the new year without it for a total of six months or so.

So, throughout the last many months, though we have had comforts like a roof over our head and food (always grateful) and each other (ditto) — all things I did not have on quest, in the wild of our own home we did not have alcohol.

On December 10 or 11th, I’ll start on another few day water fast, this time a total of three days without food versus four and I can’t wait (fasting will be incorporated into some of my work starting next Summer inside shorter quests I’ll take women on).

I’m not nervous for the three days of only drinking water, as much as I am happy for it AND I can’t wait to tell you about each day as I go through it in a couple weeks.

Feel free to do research around the benefits of a water fast and know that although many of the benefits you read about are physical, the benefits are also absolutely emotional and spiritual…

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.

The Book I Made…

In the middle of April 2020, I said that if I came out of this reading as much as I once did *and* writing Nolan the book I had thought about for a long, long time, it would have been a worthwhile season…

I have made time for more reading and Josh and I also wrote the book pictured here — 

We wrote it in ‘She Said, He Said’ format, each of us finishing what the other had started inside each new chapter and gave it to Nolan on his 15th birthday while in a motorhome in Utah in July.

The chapters:
1) Why We Write This for Your 15th Birthday
2) Bucket List/Explore the World
3) Creativity
4) Romantic Relationships
5) Hard Times
6) Good, Old-Fashioned Advice
7) Doing the Work 
8) Closing Thoughts As You Turn 15

It didn’t just feel like time well-spent, it was exactly that.

🎉🧑🏻✍🏼

What would YOU like create or begin to birth during this time? 

(He told us a few nights ago he’s on Chapter Three — going slow in anticipation for Chapter Four or are they just slowww topics? ; )

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.

Routines, Responsibilities & Goals (Living Overseas)

Routines, Responsibilities & Goals (Living Overseas)

One of the things I loved most about living in Amsterdam and Guadalajara was being anonymous. 

In other words, how did I want to reinvent? What kind of life did I want to reset to? “Have it!” Life said, “it’s a new place and so, too, a new you if you want to take her…”

It took seven or so months of the experience inside the pandemic for my husband and I to finally really understand or remember that, truly, we have never had anything ‘tying us down’ and that we can do anything and go anywhere at any time (tragedy, grief and multiple job losses have taught us the act of the newly-decided, yet you forget).

It’s something we’ve always known, but the winding paths of routine and responsibilities and even what you might consider empowered personal goals are cheeky (goals, too, can turn into expectations, especially when the man or woman who originally chose them has outgrown them, but hasn’t had the time to check in long enough to realize it). 

Routine, responsibilities and goals can get you and keep you on the people mover of lots of doing without much of the being that helps you actually register that you are indeed ALIVE.

What is clear ~> our deep values don’t change, they only get louder a.k.a what you appreciate only appreciates (especially during challenge) —

And it’s this that I also appreciated about the Dutch and the people in Mexico — the value system for most of work to live, not live to work…you could feel it in every hello walking down the street (people had and *made* the time to talk to you in the neighborhood).

Cut to everything breaking lose in the world and country you live in WHILE also being given a reflective pause this grand for almost eight months (busy with work, but with much time for family time and reflection)…

…the shackles loosen, your mind, though at times challenged and tired, starts to think clearly, your heart starts to beat less fast (the go of car culture has about seized for many of us in LA, for example, which helps) and you begin to feel what the rhythm of your own drum IS and has always been.

The drum has ached for the warmth felt when you play it…

You hit it once, twice each morning, as if testing if you remember the practice of self-tuning, making a ritual of not just attempting to begin playing it first thing, but allowing it to play and guide *you* through the best of soon-to-be-lived dreams not just at night…

#lifequest
#thequestinme
#creativeheroine

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.

Whose Helping To Carry Burdens

Whose Helping To Carry Burdens

For a long time I didn’t understand why acts of service was my love language and now I know that when a man helps you carry things (and with a genuine smile on his face like it’s his divine purpose to do exactly that), he’s actually helping to also carry any burdens you might be holding (I’ve come to understand over 22 years, there’s a direct correlation)…

I felt like a bird on a brand shoot a couple weeks ago. Hands free. Heart free. He’s free. 😉 (ha)

Love is always so stinking beautiful (we need to see more of it in action these days ~ any and all days!) and some of the time it looks something like this.

If you’re a hopeless romantic like me, check out the other social media posts on facebook under the #gratefulfornodistance hashtag. 

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.