I recently took a walk down memory lane regarding what I’ve learned over the last decade about grief, since losing my mother and brother —hi to my public healing, remembrance and celebration journal. 

This month was the 11th anniversary of my brother, Dino’s passing (this was also the day we lost my Mom…she died of a broken heart almost exactly two years later). This death anniversary fell on Mother’s Day, which was the holiday it fell on 11 years ago.

I threw myself even more at life in losing theirs.

Grief grew me up…

What it taught me:

I don’t need it to be sunny all the time!

Grief gave me a slew of answers to many things, not the least of which was that seasons don’t just happen outside, but inside too.

Grief doesn’t just go away, it needs your full participation. Just like you feel you need the person who’s no longer here, grief needs you, too.

Treat the very next person you’re with — stranger or someone familiar — as if they’re the very person you’ve lost. 

Give from your pain. I gave the compliment, I spent the quality time, I even went on what I called The Friendship Experiment over a year to visit with friends I had lost touch with…And I traveled to Greece to help Syrian refugees, I created events to empower women and started the Greater Good Parties in LA. I also started prison reform work and did other talks and a podcast alongside Josh. Also, I also worked for a year and a half at Hospice with a few elderly moms whose children lived too far away to be with them during their final days.

Love fiercely and.spend.the.time! Go for no regrets. Plus— family first.

I told Josh after a year after having lost them that I had no regrets. Our love had been lived out in the open and we enjoyed each other endlessly. The love I gave them felt free and constant and I don’t doubt they knew how much I cared for them. It was and still is a healing balm for me. So, dance, travel to them, tell them how much they mean to you, be goofy, be warm, stay affectionate and throw all the parties!

What more could I want other than no regrets?

Ultimately what grief taught me: love.
And, what they taught me: love.

It always comes back to that, doesn’t it?

True.
Endless. 
Love.

What have you learned during grief? My heart goes out to you! Feel free to share this to anyone you feel might benefit from it.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life!

Life is good.