Tag Archives: Michelle Ghilotti

No Feeling Is Final

As I listen to the song Khalid and John Mayer did together, this:

Let everything happen to you.
Beauty and terror.
Just keep going.
No feeling is final.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

For my first-ever quote share, it needed to be a f’ing good one and this one dropped into my lap the other night.

What Rainer says is something our kids don’t know yet and that we, as kids, likely didn’t know slash weren’t told either (still today, we may know this intellectually, but not feel it beneath the throat) ~ that all feelings are transient, the “good” and the “bad” ones.

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and our children, then, is the gift of a calm nervous system (maybe even more than mindset) — specifically, the tools for calming a nervous system…the ability to come back to a perspective that helps us understand, and, most importantly, feel that life is about the moving of emotion (e-motion = energy in motion) and that there’s nothing wrong if you’re not feeling just one way all the time.

For our kids, teens or young adults it starts with the simple sharing. Over and over again that, hey you, everything moves AND hey, too, you’re not alone in feeling what you’re feeling. Whether that be your joy OR the sadness or confusion.

Terrifyingly helpful? Telling them about ourselves and about ALL of our moments, those happy, sad and in between, over and over again, showing our own humanness.

Because their feeling of community starts with us.

Where else will they read about, know or trust about ____ or _____ or e-motion? School doesn’t teach us this. WE get to teach us this. By way of constant conversation, and, as much as we can muster, by modeling it, too…

If, as adults, we are afraid of being fully seen by those sitting front and center in the living room of our lives because our nonexistent parenting playbook says we’re supposed to show only a sliver of who we are, how will we (planet/families/teens) ever understand healing to know healing?

It’s probably one of the more creative and purposeful things we can do is let ourselves be seen by our kids. No Feeling Is Final.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life.

Life is good.

Let’s Normalize ____!

You need not suffer or heal in silence.

Talk about how you’re suffering. Tell us, too, about what you’re stepping into for your healing.

We learn from you…from each other.

When we talk about what we’ve lived through (my life. being one that has included with it traumatic loss of almost each family member in my immediate family, a parent figure’s alcoholism and more), both privately with those we love and trust (friends, family or those we hire) and yes, even publicly, we heal…

***Every time we tell the truth, we heal.***

Also — we pass along our findings AND we learn we are not alone. The last being everything, too.

This is how we end up *really* knowing community and end up connecting more deeply with ourselves much more (aka: growth, purpose, wholeness, peace).

Ultimately, it’s this connection to self that heals.

So many people hide away when feeling the breaks AND even when stepping into the healing (the shhh and shame becomes our silence & solitude) — for a whole host of reasons — not the least of which being that they think they’ll be judged (for being human and having experienced life).

But we all have pain and if more of us talked about it, we’d realize that, well, we all have pain.

Let’s normalize being human. What it actually takes to move from problem to solution or from the break to a return to more wholeness.

Let’s normalize the deep heartbreak, gaining weight or that losing someone we deeply love h a p p e n s…

Let’s talk about a parent disappearing, or that our teenager is struggling. That we’re having a hard time loving our body or getting up in the morning…

Let’s bemore consistent with our openness (and, therefore, eventually society’s acceptance) of talking about suicide.

Let’s talk about divorce. It is a loss of huge proportions…and through all the above, let’s be there for a friend or BE the friend who needs the support.

We can be both.

We are pain *and* we are immense joy.

That’s the ying & yang of a life.

As important, let’s also normalize the owning of it all in a way that motivates us to search out the salve or solution to the wound vs. talking about the same thing year after year that keeps you in the suffering.

Healing means naming it. And that involves talking about it in a way that leads you somewhere DIFFERENT.

Grab a friend, a therapist, write it out, research plant medicine or all the forms available of cutting-edge psychotherapy.

Finding your unique path of support to move through it is exactly that, your unique path. And you’re ready, maybe, to walk it…

Of the 7.44 billion who feel the murmurings of a desire to move past their brand of a hard something, but aren’t ready or practiced at talking about it or moving through it, you can feel it, you’re ready.

You’re ready to…

You’re ready to heal.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life.

Life is good!

Imprinting Trauma On Our Children

As adults and parents to our children as much as it is feels our duty to help them each day with various tasks or through different challenges. Especially when young, it’s our responsibility, too, to do the emotional work on ourselves, so we don’t worry about Imprinting Trauma On Our Children or sufferings onto our children.

Not only are they watching our every move, reactions/knee jerks and how we treat people, but they can *feel* our nervous systems inside each room of the house, even when we’re not there…

Whatever we don’t work on now (especially that which we are conscious that limits us), we continue to press our potentially limited current and/or past reality into our today families and into *their* future family…

Family first, to me, means the above.

It’s doing the work on our ourselves that pays dividends FOR them.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life.

Life is good.

Our San Francisco Rickshaw Tour

We are born adventurers —

This was a striking building which houses women and mothers who have left abusive situations.

Spending two hours this week on Our San Francisco Rickshaw Tour in The Mission to check out all the art in the area (recommend checking out the Airbnb experience with Kai) was a sweet string of colorful moments with Nolan.

The image at the top of this building (and throughout the whole of it) — wow.

I’ve carried a child, but the power of the art for me was connecting to my own mom, as she knew…she knew the story of those inside.

So much of our lives, lessons and understandings start right here in our first womb homes and it’s inspiring to know we can use our experiences (and the experiences of those who have gone before) to create the home within and with others that today we most want.

There’s vibrant life stuff at every turn, rickshaw or no rickshaw. But rickshaw! [Highly recommend Our San Francisco Rickshaw Tour. It was halk full of deep story, meaningful art for our time and even seat warmers.]

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life.

Life is good.