They come and they go unless you…

Birthdays.

They come. They go.

Some we remember really well and others we don’t.

Some of my fondest memories were of my grandmother waking me every July 16th with a half English, half Spanish happy birthday song from her tape player. It was usually quite early so it was a true “wake up” call (yawn) but one I looked forward to with great pride. She was, after all, celebrating ME.

Talk about muscle memory. I still feel this kind of love and life the eve and actual day of my birthday. My grandmother started something quite good, I must say, and it’s now a tradition I’ve passed on to my son. In fact, he told me just the other day to not wake him up so early (his birthday is in two days) and with a knowing smile I said “Ok” yet I know this is a HUGE part of why he will love this tradition later. I know I’m building not only our relationship in celebrating him in a unique way but I’m also growing his self-esteem and confidence. He is me, many moons ago…

And this is really what I wanted to pass along today…how much others play a role in us having a solid relationship with ourselves. Having a better relationship with self starts with solidifying our relationships with others. That’s where we learn. And, truth is this is how we learn (and fall hard) towards more and more conscious-living. We do it by creating and keeping relationships with others.

Being in relationship is the seesaw in life that keeps us in check towards the most fun version of life we can have…if we really, really listen.

In practicing compassion, kindness and the many other nifty tricks we humans have up our sleeves, we grow our ability and muscle to love and experience kindness, lasting kindness, with ourselves. All that fine-tuning we do with others is critical for contentment because it can be the path to learning how to do it for ourselves. This includes making new friends, keeping old friends and, yes, even painfully and almost rhythmically letting go of friends all in the name of reaching ourselves.

And I suppose it makes sense, yes? We come from our Mother. We are born of relationship. And I’ve never been more convinced of this fact: the two things we want most of all is to be more ourselves and to be connected in true, celebratory relationship with others.

Even if it’s not your day of birth, take your most curious approach with that next phone call or visit. And if that call or visit happens to be with your grandmother, stay another few minutes than you were expecting to, as I’m sure she’ll want you to anyway…

What you consistently practice with others you will likely practice more of with yourself.

And all from a Starbucks in Holland…

Wow, I feel like I just found the fossils of a dinosaur…ceramic cups at Starbucks.

Four ceramic cups (and more to the left and right of me) here in Holland.

In the US, hurry, has been the mainstay for quite awhile, do you agree? Maybe this is why I had to take a photo of this little scene and devote an entire post to it.

Here in Holland ceramic mugs are the mainstay…it’s assumed you’ll sit for the ENTIRE experience vs take it away in a paper cup as is assumed in the US. Here, unless otherwise told, it’s assumed that you will watch the world go by vs take the “experience” away with you while you continue to text and toil away.

Having lived in Europe now three times (not counting these two months), this shouldn’t have been such a surprise but it was. “Americans live to work and Europeans work to live” ~ I had completely forgotten that phrase until yesterday when I saw this and I do believe there’s some truth in it; you?

Being a nation of DOers is an awesome thing. After all, this is how we stay successfully employed and rockin’ as entrepreneurs, right? But I don’t think we need to be in action 150% of the time. We can’t afford to be.

To DO and BE in action after what we want and what we know we can have (essentially a GREAT, creative and purpose-driven life) > until you look at the details. We’re exhausted, our adrenals are shot, our hips, back and necks ache and we can’t sleep (all of this, by the way…even the part about the hips is and can be due to stress and pushing when we need to pull back [this last fact brought to you by the me that is also a certified yoga teacher]). Read my guest post on www.tinybuddha.com around my personal story with this.

In Europe and definitely here in Amsterdam the day’s about working, living, working, living…taking five minutes, ten minutes, maybe even an hour (gasp) between work episodes to watch the world go by (or boats). And that’s what I’ve been doing. I have the same amount of work with my branding and coaching as well as my book yet I feel more connected and more conscious of the minutes that go by and how to spend them so that the whole me is taken care of.

In the US it’s work, work, work, little bit of *guilty* living, more working…

But when we realize we can still DO and be IN action toward what we want in life and also take care of ourselves, our nervous systems and those of our our colleagues, employees and family this is when we hit yet another level of success (awareness) as business-owners and entrepreneurs.

We can have what we want and we can also take our time to get it. And it really is true ~ proven, in fact ~ that taking minutes to watch the world go by only helps our productivity and increases our quality of life. The success I experienced in running my business here for four years was in large part due to the time I took to be…happy. To take time. I loved biking to and fro my studio/office and most of all, loved taking more time to work ON the business rather than just IN the business.

I felt like I was an inspiration bomb and so efficient, and, as a result my clients were also getting the goods. They were getting the best of me.

I think we can all agree that we must take time to nurture so success can become our nature. In a recent Ted talk by a neuroscientist from Brown University, happiness was confirmed, yet again, as a habit we can gain. Or as I like to say an ability we gain when we give ourselves permission to BE happy.

Here’s a down and dirty time-table for daily success (growth of a business AND happiness in life):

1. Tit for Tat. For every hour of work, take ten minutes to breathe at your computer (this also comes from the me that’s a certified yoga teacher). Or, get WILD and go outside, take a walk and watch the world go by. Then come back and continue being in bad a** action. We need both.

2. Eat the frog. Do that thing you least want to do first-thing in the morning. It will increase your confidence and well-being for the rest of the day and will move the needle on what you want to come into your business sooner rather than later. Not to mention, you will be that much more able to take the time for you, for your family or for your body (hello, gym and/or yoga studio). Eat the ugliest frog first-thing…enjoy the rest of the day.

3. Avoid interruptions. Turn off anything and everything that beeps while you’re eating the ugliest fronts. It takes something crazy like 4 or 5x the effort to re-start where you were if you are interrupted by email/phone calls/facebook…focus. Pretend you’re a yogi and keep your gaze or drishti on one marker.

extra credit: Let go. It may not get all done TODAY. Welcome to entrepreneurship.

As always, enjoy your business, enjoy your life.

How to enjoy life and business today.

Dance like everyone’s watching. Cause a scene.

To brand yourself as one to watch out for, you have to actually DO the things that you secretly think about. Don’t keep them locked up, let them dance; inspire others.

This special message brought to you from those dancing on canal boats in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. (The first four days of two months here are going well, by the way. I’ve set up shop and what a grateful shop it is.)

You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.
~ William Purkey

I’m usually not one for quotes like the one above, however, this one really does fit the message I wanted to share today.

We must act in our businesses as we play in the good life…full out. It’s all connected and success has the same Mama.

So, what do you really want to do?

Today:

1. Call someone who can help to put that first wheel in motion for that scary new project/program or partnership. Thoughts grow stronger as they are shared.

2. Tell someone you love…thoughts grow stronger as they are shared.

3. Head over to www.intent.com and set your intention. Thoughts grow stronger as they are shared.

As always, enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Don’t see or say “what’s left”, look right.

So much of our success in business or life is about focus.

Yes, it’s important to focus on your brand message, on the consistency with which you’re bringing it all forth and on that ONE main goal you have for the next 90 days but today I’m specifically talking about focusing on all that’s going well…on all the micro-movements, inching forward and chicken-scratch pieces of paper that have 1,000,000 dollar ideas on them.

We must focus more often on what’s going well to BE well. (I like to call this Business Yoga™)

Sounds simple. Is hard. Normally, we focus on that one thing that’s “wrong” versus the five that are so, so right and moving in the right direction.

Just look at where you were two months ago. What glorious partnership, passion or path or have you carved out for yourself? Even if it’s just the beginning of something, stop there. Recognize it for the opening (the opening!) it is and don’t poo-poo it. Woohoo instead.

Don’t see or say “what’s left”, look right and see all that you’ve accomplished.

Beautiful. Now you’re free to roam about the planet…

p.s. speaking of, the next blog post will be from Amsterdam. I will begin my two months living and working overseas tomorrow night. Please post comments and let me know what you’d love to hear about. Open to suggestions!

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