Let’s talk about something very important (trigger warning if you don’t want to talk about or even hear the word suicide one or two more times).
Stephen “Twitch” Boss died about a month ago and I have this conversation on my mind and this topic on my heart often.
I’ll cut to it…
One thing I think we could easily change in our culture is telling acquaintances, friends and family alike the real truth when they ask “how are you?”
Especially in American culture, we are so used to quickly answering “good!” when, maybe, we are not “good”.
The knee-jerk “good” is not in their rhythm which was refreshing to live for those four years.
It’s something I brought back with me 16 years ago.
How can we each start telling the truth more when asked, “how are you?” — to those we see on a daily basis, on social media, to our kids, to our friends etc?
The more we talk (less superficially) and the more WE are honest, maybe, just maybe, the guilt and shame that comes with suffering and mental health or someone contemplating suicide (and maybe wanting to talk about it instead of being alone with those thoughts) will begin to diminish…
But we have to remember that this is complex and it isn’t as simple as telling people to talk to us, there’s been a whole culture created telling us, in no uncertain terms, that it’s not safe to be who we (really) are, that we are not accepted if “weak” and that we are somehow different or unlikable if we are suffering…
Maybe you and I can change that on a daily basis with the way we respond to the question we (all) get asked more than anything else…”how are you?”
Or maybe we should change the question to, how are you… really? Possibly being brave enough to ask, are you suffering? Or are you contemplating suicide?
My sign off today is different than it normally is, yes, life is good (I love that part of my signature inside my newsletters), and I do hope that you make happiness your business, however, I also know that happiness and goodness is not the solution, it’s having raw and very real conversations as a culture, society and as a group of friends or family and it requires us to potentially feel uncomfortable. In my opinion, it’s worth it.
Would love to hear your thoughts. How are you today…but really, how are you? ❤️
