Recently, on a plane to Paris from LA, I heard the woman in front of me say in a really upbeat voice to what sounded like a younger child, “I’m going to come back a better mama!”
She had a friend with her.
I whipped my head around.
What she said was almost identical to what I had said to Nolan when he was about eight years old before I went on a work trip.
I’ve shared this before (years ago), but Nolan didn’t want me to leave and asked, “Why do you have to go, mama?” and I remember leading the witness, asking him what his favorite part of school was (I knew what his answer would be and, therefore, I knew what my answer would be to his question). He said “Recess.”
I said to him [something like]: “Yes, recess. Play is so fun! And you know what? I miss you every time I’m away on a work or a friend trip. But when mama goes away, it’s like recess for her. You and I play and it’s one of my favorite things, too!”
And then I asked my little man in the most fun voice I could muster: “And haven’t you noticed that I come back even more silly!?!”
I honestly didn’t know what he would say, but his response I’ll never forget: “Well, yeahhhh…”. It sounded like he didn’t want to admit it. [I thought, does he really notice that I come back refreshed and even more ready for play and quality moments? I think so! Our kids feel a difference.]
We hugged it out that night, and on many other days or nights before I took short or longer trips.
But, as a close friend and I have discussed, even still, it’s hard for us to not lose ourselves in parenthood — there’s a constant emotional labor; many of us are always thinking about the family, our kids, how might we love them better or “did we just love them in the right way in our last interaction??”, what’s on the to do list, etc. We are constantly thinking or doing for those in the family.
But we must BE {with ourselves}, too.
How do we ensure that we do things for our own joy and satisfaction — a purpose outside the purpose so to speak? Because we have a couple (purposes). ;)) Them…and us.
Recess in session! Are we connected on Instagram yet? My husband and I are launching a relationship – based project soon, don’t miss it!
Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…
To the best of the rest of your life!
Life is good.