The other day as Nolan and I were filling the honey jar with with our intentions for how we want to continue stepping into our relationship, one that is changing rapidly, I realized something.
As I was mid sentence writing “..supporting each other as we each continue to grow and change”, it struck me that we (society) talk so much about our kids changing and growing (we plan for it, pay for it, expect it and comment on it all the time), that we hardly acknowledge the fact that, we too, are changing or that we’d *like* to change/learn more or be different/evolve — in essence, not be the same we were yesterday.
We also hardly acknowledge how much we can actually do something different with our kids than what was done with us and share (more) with them around how we, too, wish to shed a skin, learn, attempt, try…growwww (in July after my vision quest, Nolan saying, “Mama, over the last year, I’ve realized that you’re more than my mama” was a big realization of all of the above for me). That, in addition to other things, it’s invaluable to share and keep sharing!
I am you. You are me.
We are a family of humans figuring it out and on that note we are not ever just one thing or one title.
Yes, as older or taller humans, we are still students, just as they are but we don’t act like it (we don’t act like students or share these student thoughts with them) very often, at least not so they can really hear or see.
In addition to being the one with more life experience and showing them the ropes or how to solve problems…
Let them see and hear you!
Tell them you’re not sure!
Remind them they’re not the only one who is nervous!
Share genuinely when you feel you need support or how you, too, doubt or don’t have the words…
Today as compared to yesterday, for example, we may be the “same”, as in that someone with similar values to the previous self (or similar values, but, maybe, more deeply rooted now), but we are not the exact same in all the other ways there are to be a whole person.
I am not the same person I was in this photo. Though the woman standing here, who renewed her vows to both husband and son (and son also read his “vows” to us, OMG ,so sweet) had very similar family values and a spiritual connection, much has shifted, cleared, been understood and NOT been understood…yet (-;.
As families, we should expect, talk about and make room for the entire family’s evolution and feel more connected as a result of leveling the playing/living field.
May we, as parents, resist the urge to focus so much, too much and/or *only* on the child changing to having more conversations about how the entire family is changing because individually each person is wanting to do so and, also, without “trying” also naturally doing so…and yeay! Yeay that we are all similar in that way ~ that we are all making movement…
Don’t leave yourself out of the change equation. We can help steward our kid’s growth by, yes, growing ourselves, but by also letting them see and hear us do it.
How do you want to change or better yourself? What do you want to make a deeper commitment to learning? What is still part of the unknown for you? What more can you share about it all?
[Machu Picchu, 2014]
Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life!
Life is good,
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur