Author Archives: michelle

My Vision Quest is Coming SOON (healthy fear)

With Cardi B, Kendrick Lamar, SZA or Childish Gambino’s “Feels Like Summer” and the like blaring with three teenage boys over, after telling him I was bummed I’d miss some prison work while gone, Josh leaned over and told me he’ll be lighting a candle for me every night at sunset.  ⁣

It made me feel so good, loved, supported…

Every day at the same time, you’ll know I’ll be thinking about you and sending you massive love.”

I appreciate so much, the moments when the loudness of life mesh so naturally with the quiet or peace of it. Life as a whole is exactly that – dark, light, loud, quiet.  Sometimes too quiet, sometimes too loud. 

It’s exactly what I’ve been training for my whole life, and most definitely the last two months, with the guides and teachers I’m apprenticing for and learning from.

They haven’t been overt about any of this (what’ll be happening in the mind, I mean), but the subtleties they *have* shared or worked with us on, especially prior to each of our daily 2-3 hour “solo journeys” (tough! tougher than one would imagine) are not lost on me. 

In constant display in July especially, I‘ll experience a seesaw of emotion. From the loudness in my belly, sans food and the loudness in my mind with all I hear at night, sans tent, I’ll be stretched. 

I’m excited and a healthy afraid. But not for one minute would I allow it to push me back off the mountain. 

Healthy fear.  My teachers told me if I didn’t have it, there’d be something wrong. Good news! Nothing wrong here! (-: 

Beyond my business and branding work inside MGI, the work I so welcome that will greet me when I get home after those nine days (four of them fasting and on my own 6-7,000 ft up at Sequoia National Park) will be the prison reform effort we’re a part of, helping to arm those soon to be released, with the tools to get jobs and/or start their own businesses (this time legally), reducing the recidivism rate.

With the music continuing to beat downstairs, Josh and I had a call with our advisory board and it was a perfectly-timed call, reminding us of what’s important and why we choose to create “problems” or challenges like this for ourselves ~> so we can continue stepping to the line, again and again, to help others create their own new, good problems.

I have my 40-pound pack, 85% packed and ready to go.  When we return from Mexico, I leave a day later. 

Today I went to REI to purchase a ground pad. I’ve never slept out in the open with just a tarp (have always been in a tent). 

Anyhow, as I’ve shared before, I’ll have no real creature comforts like a phone or a book or food or human company. But I will have water (lots), a sleeping bag, a tarp for overhead, warm clothes, ceremonial items, knives, one small camper’s chair, headlamp, flashlight, backup batteries, face and lip sunscreen, lip moisturizer (lots of it), unscented toothpaste, sunscreen and bug spray (no need to alert bears of my location), emergency kit, SOS whistle, a journal and a pencil.  I’m forgetting stuff, but that’s what’s coming to mind right now. (Yes, OK, and these are creature comforts). 

Next, I’ll share one other funny thing I’m taking that won’t weigh much, but will either offer me many laughs or actually protect me from mountain lions as I sit and journal — and can’t see behind me.  Stay tuned.

Other shares about the quest: bit.ly/2Zzz39z.

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,

 

 

 

Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur 

A Short Story About Your Sadness

I appreciate the heavy lifting this lovely man did while I was heavily lifting (emotionally), too. But I can’t tell you that I saw, felt or appreciated it as much as I do now, being through the harder years of grief.

I was deep inside my own thoughts and emotions. 

Because grief is like that first hard job you’re not sure you really want — it’s a daily job, especially at first, at second and at third.

But unlike that first j-o-b, grief is something you do because it’s natural to and because it’s something that wants to move through you, so you can continue to move through or with all parts of life (and with those still living) calling on you ~ 

Hello? Come! Be…with…me…

As we tenderly toil, we may not realize how much our people are also tenderly toiling (your losses are their losses) and how much they additionally hurt seeing us in pain. 

To all partners, sisters, brothers, cousins, friends, parents, sons and daughters who grieve alongside us and who relentlessly and patiently sit beside us, feeling their own grief, thank you…we love you and couldn’t have done it or have worked through it without you. (~> I can’t do it or continue to work through it without you.)

And to each of us going through it right now, may we remember that pain and joy can co-exist (enjoy as the short breaks in the rain come, travel, jump, laugh etc, as this is part your healing and medicine, too) and may you know that although you feel sadness, you are not sadness itself (you are life, always rebirthing itself and it will wait, just like your loved ones still living have, until you’re ready, so, take your time)…

Oh yes and may — may you repair the brokenness in a daily or moment-to-moment way by treating the next person you‘re with or meet (and the next and the next) as if they were the very person or people you’ve lost.

This is one small but certain way (a big way) to transform loss into gain.

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur 

What I Heard in a Dream (+ last photo at my family home)

This was the last photo I took at my family home before my Mom died. About a year or more later, for the first time in my life, I heard something in my sleep (not a dream) and these were those words: It’s only when you show who you really are that more is revealed.

And it feels so true. The more honest, myself and true I continue to be to my values, my stories, where I come from and who I am as a result, the more magic that is served up. 

Show us who you really are. 

What if the “worst” *and* best thing that happens is that purpose and passion (anything and everything filled with meaning and light) all of the sudden shows up? And up? And up?

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur

On Having Teenagers (I’ve Been Sad)

Where you find meaning, you find yourself. 

Last week, Nolan and I sat on the edge of the soccer field at the high school he’ll be attending in August.

The sun was at our backs and the tone of the conversation was comfortable and friendly…it felt like I was speaking to a dear friend. 

As it has many times, it felt good, and as he was sharing his thoughts with me, I felt so connected to him.

In fact, it was this conversation that made me realize that although everything is changing, more than it ever has in the previous 13-14 years (he speaks and walks like a man now and his physical “need” of us in many ways is way less — the emotional need I know is growing), the relationship life rings we’ve consciously created can or will stay, but it’s going to tug at me, asking me to find new ways to keep connecting with him…

The rings or branches may look or sway and act differently, but the connection is and will always be there. I know this intellectually, but emotionally, gosh, does it feel so different.

For the last year, I have been sharing with Josh that I was nervous…nervous that as Nolan got on in teenagehood (or life) that we might lose the special connection we’ve had for so long, but our conversation sitting here reminded me that though our connection will evolve (as anything does), that which has been found over and over again throughout a delicious relationship, can’t ever truly be lost.

Will it change and act like something new (or ask us as parents [and teen] to)? Yes.

Will it pull at my heartstrings and challenge the muscle memory I have of how things used to be and were for so, so long? Yes (it already has).

What I was also reminded of was that I have found such meaning in this relationship (it has taught me oodles about love and nurturing and about freedom and independence) — and maybe that’s what I’m scared to lose — not Nolan, but the meaning found in what it means to be a nurturer to a 0-14 year-old/pre high schooler (which is different than to a 14-28-year-old, for example).

I’m sitting in this inquiry ~ an interesting time of reflection and of finding new parts of me being stretched. I’m sure many of you can relate. 

In telling Nolan that I wanted to take a photo to remember our chat, in the most subtle way, I also committed to continuing to ‘find myself’ by finding out more about the new him by ~> allowing things to shift and change and grow and go.

I felt for the longest time this distinct connection and pride in being “his mama” (I still feel that), but it’s never been more clear or understood in more of my cells that he’s “my teacher” — mmhmm, that he is! 

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur