The family mission
[In love with being human] Today is my fifth piece of 12, in the name of celebrating 12 years in business, sharing part of my story through entrepreneurship and book writing, especially as it pertains to life, motherhood, love, growth and gratitude.
The other day when I was sick, I asked myself “what would be healing right now?” and the answer that came was “write.”
I smiled and started to write….
Writing and yoga are my medicine. I talk about it in more detail in my book but suffice it to say that the sound bites and sweat experienced in yoga starting eight years ago is what launched me into the life philosophy I have and mindset work I do today.
In love with being human…
Add to that: dance, my husband and son and a few other things and I rarely need to go to the doctor.
A spiritual healer I’ve been meeting with recently over the loss of my brother, however, would ask (and has been asking), “So, if yoga, your ability to write, dance or be with your husband and/or son were taken away from you, what would you do?” She promptly answers for me…”You would find happiness in yourself. You are the only person or thing that’s with you from beginning to end and so work with that/on that/in that. Enjoying all those things are great, Michelle, and they do add to your life but doing this work means seeing the truth that if those additions were subtracted you wouldn’t be any less of a fulfilled and happy, at-peace woman. What I want you to work on is reminding yourself that you don’t need any one thing or person to make you complete or to heal you…”
In love with being human…
I am my own medicine.
Which reminds me…in entrepreneurship, to be able to grow into higher levels of success, we need support and we need to nurture relationships. Relating is succeeding. I couldn’t do what I do every day without the village, in business and in family life. Ah, and just when we think we hit upon the truth, what lies just beneath is the wellspring: not only do WE need a team and a sisterhood to lift us but they ~ each and every one of them ~ need us…
Living more from here, from this place of service serves us.
As Martin Luther King said, the truth is that “Life’s most persistent question is, What are you doing for others?”
And bringing the healer’s perspective back reminds me, of course, that it all comes from within. The relationships and support we experience in our daily life are only but a reflection of our internal environment. Every drop of water, beautiful breeze and song is a reflection of our internal environment.
In love with being human…
See yourself in every person you encounter today.
This brings up self-discipline for me and I’ll tell you why…
First, I’ll say that yoga is all about it. It’s about getting out of what we normally do when we feel the pressure or when the (life) pose most hurts and staying in it, seeing it through to the other side. Dark to light.
That said, seeing ourselves in others, more every day, may be uncomfortable but doing the work is what produces the ripe fruit which feeds us all. Instead of having the answers, ask and see how you might be informed on moving from dark to light…
Ask:
• How did I contribute to this situation?
and
• What part of me is like them and how can I shift that inside of me instead of getting them to see how they need to change?
Sticking with this “discipline” reveals something the planet has always known but that we ~ its occupants ~ have maybe ignored. We’re all connected. The bulls-eye is in the very center of your chest. Every tear she sheds, you eventually feel. Every dismissive act towards a child, is disrespect we experience. Every animal or corner of nature that is abused is felt in our most violent weather. Every boy we don’t nurture emotional intelligence in is felt in destructive leadership.
As the wise healer eluded to, it all starts inside.
In love with being human…
Sstay with the discomfort…more…a little more…there. It will eventually soften and what you will not only be shown but feel is that there is love all around you because it’s inside of you.
In fact, it’s one of the biggest truths learned since losing my 22 year old brother. The pain, the ebb and flow of the tide has consistently brought back one ship filled with gold. This is the message it brings “May we act as if every person we meet is the very person we have lost.”
And, it’s true, nothing has been more important than self-discipline during this time of grieving…same goes for the writing of a book, growing new arms to a business or being a mother. Even when you don’t want to as much as you did a minute ago, you do it anyway…
You do the yoga.
You do the writing.
You take the second shower.
You do the tickle fest.
You have the meeting.
And in each instance, you make the decision that you will create what you want to be a part of.
In love with being human…
In each instance, you fill your cup, help yourself and heal the world.
To be “successful”, you must make “help myself” part of the consistent routine and the discipline. Because to solve, or love a situation to its solution, you must stop talking about it and do instead.
What will you DO (vs. talk about) today?
How will you take healing, learning, recovering, nurturing into your own hands and focus on your happiness so you can RAISE happiness in your family, community…the world?
In love with being human…
In 12 years of birthing and growing a business, birthing and growing a baby boy, a book and birthing and growing the learning most recently that comes with tragic loss, the gratitude and learning comes in all colors:
• Plan, yes, but be even more inspired to DO: We can plan and talk about doing this or that but it’s the decision and will to actually do (even when you don’t want to) that moves the needle on all the goals and vision we have for our life.
• Self-discipline: Just when you want to get out of the pose, stay in it. See it soften. Don’t fight against it, don’t close the darkness out from the light.
• Emotional intelligence: I have a dream that nurturing an emotional intelligence in our youngest men will help the blissful beating of the organism we call Earth. This wisdom came on strong after losing my brother…for years and years, Josh and I hugged him, kissed him and showed him constant physical love (he was about seven years old when Josh and I started dating and he would spend time with the two of us, often). Something happened when he got on in his teen years. We still showed our “brother-son” love, however, it evolved to be more with words, silly travel time spent together and via funny texts and phone calls and less physical touch. We are grateful for it all; we feel we gave all we had which we both acknowledge now is a lot. Then cut to recently, Nolan (8), starting to shy away from our kisses and hugs dropping him off at school. The three of us had a chat. The family meeting went something like this…”We love you. So much so, that you’ll never know how much. In fact, most days, it feels like it spills out of us and we can’t control it. We are a family that shows love by physical touch. So when we drop you off at school, we are going to kiss you and hug you. Ok? It’s just who we are and who we will be and it’s something that is very, very valuable…we will continue to show you love in this way even when you’re 18, 19 and 20. And we promise, you’ll still be cool and manly. Man, will you be cool. In fact, you can be the kid at school that says “If you think it’s un-cool to kiss and hug my parents well then I think it’s un-cool that you don’t kiss and hug yours.” His response, “Yup, makes sense…just don’t smack my butt when you walk away.” DEAL.
• Fear/Discomfort: Most of us these days don’t need to run away from lions, tigers and bears, oh my. Yet our bodies still have the fight or flight response built in. Back when, without the fight or flight , we wouldn’t have had the ability to live very long. The best in all internal technology, really. However, today we mistake discomfort in love, life or business to be something we need to run or protect ourselves from. The wisdom bomb here is to start doing the work, the meditation and/or getting the guidance so we can learn to distinguish the lions from the lessons and the worry from the wisdom. We need to run from lions, yes, but we don’t need to run from lessons. We need to sit, stay, get quiet to let the remnants settle…then see where we are on the other side.
In entrepreneurship, I’ve learned the second I start to feel uncomfortable is THE very sign I should just do the thing and then I normally do. Secret to success? Not sure but I do know that if we show ourselves there's nothing to fear, we will be happier. We'll live a life where at 98 swaying in your rocking chair, you’ll say “Yup, I have no regrets…well, except for maybe lovingly smacking Nolan on the bum too many times after he had asked me not to.”
Stay with it…you’ll stick the pose.
• Be hopelessly and romantically in love. Though the spiritual healer is right ~ we only have ourselves to count on to stand up vs crouch down in this life, I say, “Enjoy the company you keep so much so that, in them never questioning whether they are madly and deeply loved, that you are madly and deeply loved as well.”
I’ll love you dear, I’ll love you til’ China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. ~ W.H. Auden
Because I’m in love, in love with being human…
[Soundtrack for the sharing, "Alive" by Empire of the Sun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPKAwJKGSDc]