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Happy International Women’s Day! (and a Dionne Warwick video )

Many times when a door closes, as entrepreneurs and business-owners, we allow ego to swoop in…wreak a little havoc. I’m not necessarily saying we’re a mess but we are human and when you add to that being so invested in what we do it’s maybe no surprise.

Though this is true for all of us to varying degrees, being what I call a business yogi, I do my best to allow thoughts that don’t serve me to walk on by…(are you smiling?)

Being the witness versus a player inside the drama that happens is extremely powerful.

And, really, this is something we all do as humans, not just as entrepreneurs. We allow false thoughts to take center stage.

We allow thoughts to become these things that are then more and more difficult to erase. You and I have control of our thoughts.

Recently, an event I was supposed to attend in Amsterdam for International Women’s Day was cancelled. I was so looking forward to going…to meeting interesting women, celebrating the important day in a city I love (I lived in Amsterdam 2002 – 2006) AND also be able to speak on one of the topics I’m passionate about: happiness and how to get it from your business.

I think the excitement was just compounded by planning the move back to Amsterdam this Summer (I’ll likely go June to August). I expected momentum from this trip that was cancelled, plus it’s always a great experience to be in Europe.

After my few human minutes of feeling the effects of the un-expected detour, I saw an opportunity to create anew. I love my business yoga™.

What to I create now that I wasn’t going? It was too short a time to turnaround an event or even a telesummit…

I ended up creating a spontaneous program that will not only allow me to continue supporting more women in their quest for brand clarity which adds to our power and happiness as women but I’ll also be helping an organization called Women for Women International that supports female war survivors: (www.michelleghilotti.com/clarity-is-queen). Win-win-win. Support. What thhe holiday is all about.

The opportunity I created, though it looked different than an event in Amsterdam would look like, the intention was the same and that’s the most important part. In the end, I am supporting the growth and happiness of women and that’s a great day.

And essentially that’s what it’s about. When twists, turns, our “mistakes” or detours happen, we have it in our control to decide to continue chasing what it is that we truly want vs allowing to be taken back two, three steps or even two to three months in our growth.

“When a negative thought arises, I chase it out with a positive one”. Try that. Use that as your mantra.

Another thing I practice during times of change is asking ‘what I want to feel right now’ (as opposed to what I initially feel after the detour/the incident). My answers to that question typically range from ‘happiness’, ‘peace’, ‘support’, ‘stillness’, ‘joy’…

Once I know what I want to feel vs what I currently feel, I go after that feeling, as if my quality of life depended on it (it does). I create, I do, I call, I get support, I dis-connect…whatever will get me the desired effect in life and business.

And the thing about entrepreneurship (especially entrepreneurship), when so much of us is on the line, is realizing we have great possibility catching ourselves immediately and DO something different in that moment.

As I mentioned in my last blog post and newsletter, give yourself permission to be happy, even when a door has closed.

Practice the doing of this, immediately.

…continue growing that muscle memory so that it ~ finding our happiness ~ becomes our ability.

Can you get down with that?

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Standing at the podium.

On Saturday 2/25, I auditioned for the Listen to Your Mother Theatre show (a spoken word “thing”) in San Francisco. It’s part of a national theatre show that’s happening all across the country on Mother’s Day. This was another lesson in stepping outside of your box being trés rejuvenating. I’m convinced it’s great for younger-looking skin too 😉

Two more weeks to find out if I “snagged” one of twelve spots. . . will keep you all posted.

After that awesome experience at Fort Mason, I headed for an intensive with KC Baker, founder and owner of The School for the Well-Spoken Woman.

She and I are working on my talk to women/moms/women in business. Naturally while talking about what I believe about life, business and generally HAPPINESS, the tenets at the foundation of my work came shining through again and I wanted to jot some of them down here.

As always, I hope it inspires you to take the time to think about and write down what you stand for and what your potential clients and customers will (actually) be buying…it’s hardly ever just your product.

They’re buying you…they’re buying the WHY of what you do.

This is branding, this is marketing but, most importantly, it’s the truth.

Here’s some of what I believe that may not sound like it’s connected to my work but it absolutely is…

1) Most women think in order to experience success, they must hide or change a certain part or parts of themselves. “Be professional.” Act like someone else or SAY something else.” I believe the opposite is true. I believe we have to bring more of ourselves (the most of ourselves) and what lights us up into the focal point of our business in order to achieve extraordinary amounts of success.

2) Most women think in order to be a good partner, Mother or friend they have to put themselves second, last or not at all. Once again, I believe you have to do the opposite in order to create a happy existence; a happy home. I believe, if women focus on their happiness, they raise happiness.

3) Most women think you’re either born “happy”/”a happy person” or not. I believe happiness is a muscle that can be strengthened and stretched, stretched and strengthened. Essentially, it’s totally and completely inside of our control, this happiness thing, no matter our past or current circumstances.

Now, the key to success in these areas ~ in your business, home life and, yes, even in your branding, is to make all of THIS your business. Make happiness your business.

Here’s how I think we can do that:

1) We must give ourselves permission.

2) We must practice doing it.

3) We must gain the ability. Essentially this means following the instinct we’ll gain from doing the above two things that then allows us to follow-through (and quickly) on what we truly want to do, authentically, in our lives and businesses…each time listening less and less to any version, sister, brother or cousin of fear…

Just as happiness is in our control so is this idea/illusion we have of fear…it’s all simply what we say it is.

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Brand You (loudly) and love the process.

On Saturday 2/25, I’m auditioning for the Listen to Your Mother Theatre show (a spoken word “thing”) in San Francisco. It’s part of a national theatre show that’s happening all across the country on Mother’s Day and I’m thrilled!

I hit on something yesterday I’d love to share something with you…

Last year, I auditioned here in LA (for the LA show).

Though I would have loved to have taken one of the 10-11 spots (but of course), I wasn’t upset I didn’t get the part. How could I be?

I do what I do (and give it all I got) regardless of the outcome.

What’s important is the doing, not the outcome…falling in love with the process.

I was EXCITED to have gone through the process, felt uber comfortable and had so much fun. In fact, as I walked out of the audition room with the producers in 2011, I told myself regardless of what happened I’d keep going in search of these unique speaking/performing opportunities. The mesh of my love of writing and performing is pretty awesome.

Anyhow, this is what I wanted to share…my piece last year was comedic. It was much more intellectual / coming from “the head” versus the heart. There’s nothing wrong with that, however, I’m convinced if there’s a chemistry match between myself and the producers this year, I’ll grab one of the spots because this piece is ALL heart. All my story. All truth and, truly, all of my (personal) brand…

It’s exactly what I coach my clients on…not leaving anything on the table.

For ideal clients to know, like and trust us we must show US.

This goes if you’re branding yourself or branding a company name. Essentially, you’re behind it all. So…show WHO you really are.

I joke that just as the camera adds ten pounds, so does your website, networking events, newsletters and all of your touchpoints. So…showing up as the true, brightest you helps. Oh does it ever.

How could you show up as more of who you really are? What are you hiding behind; anything?

How could you show up as more of you on your blog, in social media, in your newsletters, at networking events etc?

Of course, branding and showing up as the authentic YOU requires more than just the sharing of stories, of course, however, this is where branding starts; getting to the core of you and the unique flavor you bring to what you do and the industry you’re doing it in…do it. Show your special sauce.

And love the process. The outcome we truly have no control over but I’m willing to bet if you’re giving it all you got, it will be a good one, even if you have to audition twice 😉

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A little wisdom from David, Dr. Seuss? & a yogi.

I know it’s Valentines Day and that it’s a day to celebrate our love for one another but can we fall in love with the process towards our greatest success too, pretty please (with agave/sugar/honey on top)?

We really must ask ourselves what our level of awareness is in any given situation.

Are we aware of what it takes? Are we aware that we WILL get there if we just keep taking powerful forward steps each and every day? Are we aware that we all go through this? And of how utlimately human the process is? Let’s talk about it, share, laugh about it, write about it…let’s seriously fall in love with the process.

The outcome will be so much sweeter.

Don’t you feel better already? Awareness at all levels and of all kinds not only helps catapult us to our largest success but truly helps to ground us in reality (letting go every day, more and more, of this idea of perfection).

Awareness also leads us to understanding where we really are.

And seeing as we can’t get to where we’re going without knowing where we’re at, practicing awareness and a certain mindfulness helps support our happiness ~ our success ~ in a big, big way.

“Start where you’re at”: at his event last week, David Neagle discussed this in detail.

In essence, so did Dr. Seuss over and over again, as well.

I’ll add me (the yogi) in there as well. In fact, I’m actually toying with the idea of naming one of the chapters in the how to be a Walking Momtra™ book, Start Where You’re At.

Again, knowing/accepting there will be midnight course corrections going from Point A to Point B is key. Happiness experts agree that adopting a growth mindset, one that (quickly) accepts these zig-zags, keeps drama at arms-length (keeps you focused on the good life) and ultimately lessens the time between A and B.

I, for one, have seen this be very, very true in my life and business.

In short, I think it comes down to doing the work. The work ~emotionally or otherwise ~ that it takes to get our desired effect.

Get to your desired effect.

Gift yourself with the awareness to ask yourself:

Am I willing to do the work on myself AND on my business it takes to live my biggest, happiest life?

And who doesn’t love the pearls o’ wisdom from Dr Seuss?:

You’ll look up and down streets.
Look them over with care.
About some you’ll say
“I don’t wish to go there.”
With your head full of brains,
And your shoes full of feet,
You’re too smart to go down a not-so-good-street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there, in the wide open air.
Out there things happen, and frequently do,
To people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew.
Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!
Oh the places you’ll go!

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