You Make People Uncomfortable (what someone told me)


You will make lots of friends, not make lots of friends and trigger lots of friends being yourself and sharing that self honestly (not to be confused with tmi), wherever you do that, on or offline [so Freda]. This is a story of the latter two.

It’s all good.

Your authentic expression AND your creativity are good and important and will always, indirectly or directly, be called into question, both by others and even (especially?) by you.

Step in line. Step back, they or you say to yourself.

Don’t inspire us (me) to feel, nor cause us (me) to get curious or question a n y t h i n g, the same or similar voice repeats.

Don’t share your real-ity, lie a little, let’s keep it light, for if not, we might actually feel connected, we may experience the reality of not being alone or even heal a little.

Clearly this is not as traditionally fun as the silly livestream last week sharing the story of how we got engaged, but it’s good and important, nonetheless.

Last night, someone in our extended family told me that with “how much you share” I likely “make people feel uncomfortable.”

It wasn’t said with malice and was referring to how I share around death, my relationship(s), about motherhood, my kid and, generally, my thoughts and feelings around other life topics.

Not everyone can handle it or wants to handle it, I was told.

There are buttons and apps for that :-)), I said, and the truth is we can’t MAKE someone feel uncomfortable (another topic for another time, but let’s say that we make silent agreements with ourselves all the time…we say we won’t, no, we WON’T allow others to be themselves, to be comfortable in their own skin, no. we. won’t. If WE are not comfortable being who we are, who are they to? Who are they to be more fully expressed?).

Though I was genuinely happy to have this discussion as I’m well practiced in it (I get curious about things that flirt with triggering me *and*, I like to find out more around how other’s inner world’s work), I let it go almost as soon as the chat had started.

I always want to understand more fully and yet I knew at that exact moment, as I have in other similar moments, that it wouldn’t change who I am, what I do or how I see social media or ANY part of life as an opportunity to be the only version of me I know ~ the real one.

What’s personal is professional and what’s professional is personal in my world. That’s one way to say it, though there are many ways to say IT.

If I can only show you filtered photos of the smooth, flawless, non melasma skin I don’t have, or of the expensive food that most days is only simple food I can squeeze in between work or mom duties or only show you pretty bright eyes vs. my crying eyes isn’t truth, which, then, to me, isn’t sexy, exciting, interesting (or interested!).

Truth is sexy. Our range is interesting. Emotion and emotional is interest-ed.

I’ve also found it creates some incredible relationships and, at the end of the day, this or these are what make a life that was once good move to and stay at great.

Bottom line is this ~ there are no mistakes in life, even when they feel like that. The conversation wasn’t a mistake. Here I am sharing about it.

And our life’s work (mine being exactly that which is being called on to shift, change or turn the volume down on ~ > authentic expression and creating a more fully integrated brand and life) is no mistake either.

What you’ve been through and are going through that either triggers you or others that you find passion in or that you find you can’t or don’t stop talking about at dinners, on social media or late into the night with your partner at home is purposeful…keep sharing it — thank you for doing that (for continuing to share it and being only the you that you know yourself to be).

Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur 

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