Josh lost his wedding ring in the ocean in Cabo six months after we were married while playing football with my brothers.
I made him go up to a six or seven year old nearby and ask to use his goggles to jump in the ocean to look for it.
It’s one of our favorite stories to tell.
But what’s more telling to us now is first realizing quickly that a ring wasn’t so important and that two — we very much wanted to keep the goodness of our dating and young married life going. It had been four years and now another six months that we had enjoyed so much.
We did buy Josh a new ring eventually, but this time we engraved a question inside to help keep us connecting (chatting, talking, listening ~ being happy together).
We didn’t know it then, but still today 17 years later, our happiness together feels equal to how much we talk and share and decide to do new things or keep doing the old things.
The question engraved was: “How Good’s This?” (we tell this story in the first episode of our podcast on iTunes with the same name). And what we said was basically this: “Let’s keep asking ourselves this question and if, at any point (even during the hard times), we can’t answer with any version of ‘pretty damn good’, we have more work to do. We have more communication or conversation to share in or, generally, more effort to put into whatever area of the relationship that wasn’t currently allowing us to say it.”
We’ve asked ourselves the question for a long time and it’s done a good job at keeping us honest. It’s also kept us working (another way to say aware) and enjoying (the whole fruits of your labor phenomenon).
“Good” marriages aren’t meant to be “perfect”, nor are they necessarily a symbol of people coasting or not having to recommit to new or next level growth.
What no one tells you about partnership early on (or about anything you want to be successful at) is that it’s all about recommitment. Commitment is nice, but it’s the recommitment daily that keeps it growing.
Reminders like this inscription of your love, devotion and/or of the work you get to put in help, too; it can help make it feel loads playful.
Josh never did like that I made him scour the ocean floor (and with goggles too small to fit his face), but we would have never met “how good’s this?” and it’s been so GOOD to us.
Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life!
Life is good,