Weekend PSA for Mamas

Weekend PSA for mamas feeling their kid’s transition from kid to teen or to more full teen/young adult…

They’re now, not only making plans without us, they’re making plans we don’t even know about until last minute.

They’re starting to test out all their unique powers (making their own plans is one) and exercise independence and that feeling of freedom we ALL love.

They’re starting/continuing their (own) lives — the way it’s supposed to be and exactly what we wanted to do at their age.

I hear from many friends how hard this time of letting go is and know the feeling myself.

It’s a transition for our kids (both exciting and tough for them, if we’re honest), but it’s most definitely a transition and a new season for us, too (more tough than exciting for us, depending on where we fall on the spectrum that day).

But what I’ve experienced is that I feel the change or loss way less (if at all anymore) when he’s sharing himself with me, stories, thoughts, etc —> so the question is/was, how to get him, not just to talk more, but to share about this life of his (it IS his) —

And not because I am being what would have been called nosy in our own teen years (though, yes, I want to keep him safe), but because I want to keep AND create a new relationship with him, one I’ll want to evolve and dance with until the last day I breathe on this earth and then beyond here, too.

Oh yes, beyond the here, too!

We don’t have to lose our closeness with them — if anything, as parents we can, both organically/naturally and also consciously or strategically create space for something new.

(They want to feel space)

So how do we give it to them and, in the process, create something awesome?

In my world, it’s come from me asking less questions and giving him more answers about myself and about my own life.

How my day is going, what I’m excited or worried about, what’s going right, what I feel is not going so right that I’m working on, essentially, how I would talk to a trusted friend (age-appropriate here and there, but mainly human-to-human appropriate). Over and over again.

I stumbled upon it in a sense. I love to feel connected to the people I love and knew that in these other relationships this came through me sharing more of myself, so that’s what I did even more with him this latest season…

🌳🍊

I’ve done a version of it since he was little, but have upped the ante again since starting high school.

Lo and behold, the more I share about myself and the less I ask about him, the more he shares and shares and shares and shares…

And then, naturally, the more I started to ask him about this or that and receive answers (receive and feel connection, I can feel it fills him deeply, too). He was and is excited to share ~ to be seen, heard and witnessed.

Who doesn’t love that?

Because at the end of the day, it’s not just what we want, it’s what they want to…we all want and need connection, quality attention placed on our stories and feelings, inside SPACE that feels that way {spacious} and without judgement (key)— as in any relationship, romantic, platonic or professional, we sometimes need to get creative (code for — start sharing more of ourselves).

Enjoy your weekend with your people!

[Skiing together a few weeks ago…he said the sun was in his eyes,🌞💛🧑🏻🗣👩🏻].

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,

 

 

 

Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur 

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