I did something last week which required much strength and vulnerability. It reminded me that we needn’t solider through life. A Vulnerability Exercise.
Most of us do, however — much of the time not knowing that’s what we’re doing. As kids, we’re not taught this and don’t know of other alternatives.
The days I spent in solitude and without food two summers ago were a regal reminder that although experiences in life, especially those we can’t control, might be painful, we needn’t cause ourselves more suffer-ing [pain, many times, is and can be transient, suffering stays with us, inside all our nooks and crannies].
Said another way, if we allow ourselves to feel sadness and/or pain versus downplaying it, “swallowing” it or spiritual bypassing it, we save ourselves from moving to the more tough phase to get out of called suffering.
I’m convinced more everyday, in my own life, and with clients, too, that everyone needs a grief, divorce or ‘I just went through something hard’ timeout or vacation. Unfortunately, our society, families, and work culture are not set up that way (not in muscle memory, nor in habit/rule)…
I didn’t soldier through my chosen challenge high up in the sequoias. instead, I genuinely and fully enjoyed it. Every day of the nine days with others and the handful without people. I’ve even called it one of the biggest honors of my life. But were there moments that were painful? Absolutely.
And/but have I soldiered or suffered through times off that mountain ~ before and after? Absolutely.
We don’t learn the difference between pain and suffering when young. Nor do we learn how to support our nervous systems or nurture our monkey mind ways of thinking (suffering). But I wish we did and at younger and younger ages. School doesn’t teach us and if our parents don’t know it, we won’t know it.
Last week also reminded me how important parents, better said, *nurturers* are to children and how MUCH they need us to be their advocates, guides and protectors ~ their teachers of how not to suffer in life, but to clear emotion, connect with others, communicate and create a new life or a new you when something tough hits.
One thing I’ve definitely learned over and over again being Nolan‘s mom is: be his *nurturer* not simply his parent.
I got home from my experience last week. I had this post from beloved photographer Sonia Tapia waiting for me. It felt like perfect timing (because it was).
I‘ve seen this photo before and love it (she took my vision and shot ideas of the work I’m stepping into after 20 years in business and brought it to l i f e). What I loved seeing were the words attached to it and how representative they were of what I experienced earlier that morning — grace…more than anything, grace.
To the world of women nurturers who are gracefully (which does not mean “not messy”…grace by another name is surrender and surrender is messy) stepping into your next season. Focus more on yourselves after tough life moments that have caused you pain and/or suffering, may you soldier no more (or very, very little)…
Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…
To the best of the rest of your life.
Life is good.