This ones actually called “I Feel Guilty or Disrespectful”…
This morning, another close friend, making it three in a little over a week, shared she was feeling bad for being ok or having many moments where she’s feeling good (~> she’s enjoying quality time in family ~ it having felt necessary, she realized, after a tough last couple years).
I understood the feelings that parade as guilt.
How can I feel good some days or maybe even most days right now when so many people are hurting physically, personally and/or professionally?
It feels disrespectful, even.
This is my answer to self when I’ve experienced similar feelings (note: this is three weeks after writing a post talking about it being ok to NOT feel ok right now, both = valid, in short, it’s ok to feel *whatever* you are feeling, which may change minute time minute at times):
First, pain and joy co-exist.
They do and have for always. The world is made up of it/of them both…if one lives, the other, too, can live and has since the beginning of time, without humans trying to change that fact.
Just as rain falls or light comes every single morning, people have experienced life in wildly different ways.
This happened before Coronavirus/COVID and it will happen after, too. You were hurting while your neighbor played loud music while throwing a party. Or — your neighbor was crying in her car down the street, while you were laughing and tickling your son.
From wherever we’re sitting, just before all of this happened and still very much now, there were and are people in pain because they don’t have enough food or water or shelter. Millions upon millions.
I hate to say it, but it’s true — that when it hits closer to home it hits us differently, maybe, but the truth isn’t any different and that is that you get to have your own (real) experience.
You’re not turning a blind eye to the world around you and what’s going on *and* you also don’t have to shut down feeling ok or grateful that parts of you, maybe surprisingly throughout all this, have maybe been returned to a more solid state.
What’s likely most true is that many of us are feeling the full range from completely tender and unsure to completely grateful and certain (at least about some things in our lives).
So ~ if you feel you can create something in this time, create. If you are mending relationships, wonderful. If you feel happy or peaceful or grounded, or for the first time in years, like the world is working at the speed of your soul, let it work —
It’s not wrong.
I think what it comes down to is that love doesn’t ever take a break. As evidenced by the countless of nurses and doctors who have worked tirelessly to support those in need right now, love keeps working even as dark times loom…babies are still being born and people are still pledging their love to one other and families are reconnecting in a way they, maybe, haven’t done so in this way before…
And thank God for all the above — we can’t push away moments of might or of feeling good or of gratitude or say they‘re not worthy of living alongside everything else because it’s IN those very moments where love, opportunity and optimism is working…
It’s where we rise from.
It’s where we become well again.
We deeply need people who are feeling well because these are the people who can tip scales, who can give back to their community and world *with* that very wellness and love found or created…
It’s those people who are likely also doing something of great importance, too, inside their own FAMILIES (Mother Theresa‘s response when somebody asked how they, one lone person, could help create peace in the world: “Go home and love your family.”).
The truth is many are getting that very opportunity right now.
Whatever we do, we can’t stop seeing love, creating love or feeling any good feeling we can catch right now.
We need those feelings very, very much.
Make happiness (or peace or gentleness) your business — especially now during these stay-at-home orders.
Life is good,
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur