Success Is In Your Relationships

Success Is In Your Relationships

The work I do holds one core thing or theme at its candlelit center: everything in life is about the relationship you have / hold to it.

Everything in our lives comes back to relationship.

In brand identity work, though it might seem separate, much of what is helpful in growing businesses (or getting clear of the expression of that business out in action in the world) is to look at each of our relationships…

Connected to that, relationships to the people in our life, whether “good” or “bad”, as well as the relationship we have to the past, present or future can be / be-come our identity.

Specifically, the relationship we have to loss, death, heartbreak or disappointment of any kind is a relationship that can get in *between* our human relationships and creative success if we don’t look at each one of them long (look at each one of them loooong)…

No relationship in our lives…the relationship(s) with our kids, partner, friends, not even those with clients will go as deep or last as long if we don’t get on the other side of our traumas or hurts…it’s not possible.

Want more of anything else that you think has little to do with relationship? Nurture a better one (relationship) with how you feel, where that truly comes from and proceed accordingly!

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.

Meet My Client Tamika

Meet My Client Tamika

Women helping other women rise ~ that’s what this share is about today…

She beat me to it. I was going to share this photo of my client and I on Facebook last week singing HER praises, but she got to me first (her love note follows below…).

And that’s exactly what I wanted to acknowledge Tamika Griffin for (one of the many things)…she is a woman FOR other women. She lifts, she advocates, she educates and she brings out the very best in people. Do you know these type of women too?

In 20 years of business, I have had the pleasure of working with amazingly astute, emotionally-intelligent and capable women and Tamika is in a class all her own.

After succeeding at making six figures in nine months in her previous business, she has stepped out to support many other women do the same (this photo shows her stepping out).

Because, as we both know, it’s not about the money, it’s what you can DO with it and HOW and WHO you can affect.

To a woman I love who is all about family first, collaboration not completion-minded and who shows women both the systems in business and rituals in life to succeed and ultimately enjoy the fruits of their talent and labor, I applaud you!

Thank you for the beautiful tribute (below) and for reminding me every time we connect why I love what I do…

IT’S BEEN AN HONOR TO WORK WITH YOU, TAMIKA. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

From Tamika:

Every now and then, God sends an angel your way to fuel the fire in your belly, give you the swift kick in your ass that you need to stop playing small.

My coach, Michelle Ghilotti Mandel has been that and so much more. She’s soulful, motivating, inspiring and doesn’t allow you to keep one ounce of what’s inside locked up.

I always tell this story. About 6 years ago, I saw her speaking at a women’s conference and I loved her energy then. I said, ” I want to work with her.” At the time , I knew I wasn’t ready for one-on-one work , but I began working with her in masterminds and retreat based work.

Eventually, like all destiny moments, we worked together, are still working together on some of the dopest things that I have ever imagined.

Michelle you are truly an activator. You have brought things out of me that I didn’t even see for myself. Today, I salute you, my #WCW.

She flew to Houston from California to be with me for my special night. If that’s not LOVE, I don’t know what it is. I value the relationship that we have formed over the years.

It’s more to do. It’s more to become. We are just getting started

Saluté!

————————

Let’s toast in unison as we each do our part to continue to help women rise! Thank you, Tamika, for the work you do and HOW you do it *and* thank you for representing what it means to me to enjoy what I do ~> it’s WHO I get to do it WITH.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.

Allergic Reaction (Thoughts On Photos During Hard Moments)

Allergic Reaction

After a systemic allergic reaction that left me with rashes and welts on different parts of my body recently (EDIT/update: docs weren’t sure what it was originally, but they ultimately decided it was a two-week delayed allergic reaction to antibiotics I was on recently), we took family photos that weekend…

I planned the shoot to commemorate the last 11 months of making memories…not despite it all, but because life is always / still meant to be lived.

Death and tragedy have reminded me of that in spades.

Though I started the morning with one swollen eyelid and one eyelid with a welt on it (the only visible reactions, everything else hidden by clothing), I knew deep down I wasn’t going to cancel these sweet moments with Josh & Nolan (feeling sad? have body aches? systemic allergic reaction? Get outside and get outside yourself and love up or be loved up).

But I wasn’t going to keep the shoot because I was going to push through and cause myself more pain. I’m not inside that stage of life or in that kind of relationship with my body, but, I would have kept it because of what is best expressed or explained inside these questions:

  • Why do we only want to remember or commemorate the moments when we felt (or looked) “good”?
  • And why would swollen eyes in a photo not be an amazing way to commemorate this moment in time inside a longer healing journey (which I’m currently on)?

[As seen in this photo, my eyes did cool and get back to normal]. Aren’t the challenging moments a big part of the reason we know our own goodness, the goodness of life, joy and our own light and lightness more deeply?

I decided early on as things didn’t look ‘so good’ that if the powers of Western medicine didn’t work to ease up my symptoms (there was no choice but to get the steroid for what the doc called a medium to severe reaction, so I received it at 9am and the shoot was at 2:30pm), I would take the photos to capture that moment in time anywayyyy.

Recently, I told a client that I thought taking photos during seasons that included some of our most tender or “weaker” moments, where we look more sad, perhaps, or are more internal, would be a lovely way for photographers to capture a human in his or her fullness.

I wish I would have thought of this years ago as I would have definitely taken photos to mark those first weeks or months after tragically losing Dino & Mom.

I would have.

How beautiful to remember the tenderness and the depth of my emotion and connection to my soul through those moments or seasons in life we typically want to hide from or bury.

The truth is that our fullness and joy comes from the tough moments; from that contrast — it has and always will…

I think if more of us allowed this truth to sink in, we wouldn’t hide ourselves so much in other ways. Instead, we would actually go for it and move forward on our biggest dreams, making moves, too, to have better relationships and generally allowing ourselves to be loved during all the dips in energy, faith or will.

Life is good, no matter where I’ll be today or tomorrow, this holds — rock or wave steady.

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.

Vulnerability Exercise

Vulnerability Exercise

I did something last week which required much strength and vulnerability. It reminded me that we needn’t solider through life. A Vulnerability Exercise.

Most of us do, however — much of the time not knowing that’s what we’re doing. As kids, we’re not taught this and don’t know of other alternatives.

The days I spent in solitude and without food two summers ago were a regal reminder that although experiences in life, especially those we can’t control, might be painful, we needn’t cause ourselves more suffer-ing [pain, many times, is and can be transient, suffering stays with us, inside all our nooks and crannies].

Said another way, if we allow ourselves to feel sadness and/or pain versus downplaying it, “swallowing” it or spiritual bypassing it, we save ourselves from moving to the more tough phase to get out of called suffering.

I’m convinced more everyday, in my own life, and with clients, too, that everyone needs a grief, divorce or ‘I just went through something hard’ timeout or vacation. Unfortunately, our society, families, and work culture are not set up that way (not in muscle memory, nor in habit/rule)…

I didn’t soldier through my chosen challenge high up in the sequoias. instead, I genuinely and fully enjoyed it. Every day of the nine days with others and the handful without people. I’ve even called it one of the biggest honors of my life. But were there moments that were painful? Absolutely.

And/but have I soldiered or suffered through times off that mountain ~ before and after? Absolutely.

We don’t learn the difference between pain and suffering when young. Nor do we learn how to support our nervous systems or nurture our monkey mind ways of thinking (suffering). But I wish we did and at younger and younger ages. School doesn’t teach us and if our parents don’t know it, we won’t know it.

Last week also reminded me how important parents, better said, *nurturers* are to children and how MUCH they need us to be their advocates, guides and protectors ~ their teachers of how not to suffer in life, but to clear emotion, connect with others, communicate and create a new life or a new you when something tough hits.

One thing I’ve definitely learned over and over again being Nolan‘s mom is: be his *nurturer* not simply his parent.

I got home from my experience last week. I had this post from beloved photographer Sonia Tapia waiting for me. It felt like perfect timing (because it was). 

I‘ve seen this photo before and love it (she took my vision and shot ideas of the work I’m stepping into after 20 years in business and brought it to l i f e). What I loved seeing were the words attached to it and how representative they were of what I experienced earlier that morning — grace…more than anything, grace.  

To the world of women nurturers who are gracefully (which does not mean “not messy”…grace by another name is surrender and surrender is messy) stepping into your next season. Focus more on yourselves after tough life moments that have caused you pain and/or suffering, may you soldier no more (or very, very little)…

Let’s make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…

To the best of the rest of your life. 

Life is good.