On Loneliness (Vision Quest story)

“I have a relationship with them — it’s just not exactly the one I want.”

If you’re feeling any part of this with anyone in your life (it’s not the way you like or love it, you want more), the connection or relationship that may need the most attention is the one with yourself.

When I was in the wild 7,000 feet up and on my own for three days and nights (four days fasting, which this photo is representative of…one pine cone for every day), there was much time to be with myself (I had someone ask me the question the other day that many have asked, what did you do every day??), and you know what I found besides more of me, the woman/a woman who enjoys her own company? 

I found that although I was alone, I was not lonely.

In fact, the night before coming down, I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay up there.

I wanted that connection, no distractions (did I mention I had some of the best sleep of my life)…but, I knew, of course, that that wasn’t real. 

I couldn’t stay up there forever (Josh and Nolan might soon begin to miss me, plus my back might have issues sleeping too many weeks on just a pad — the open air wasn’t an issue, in fact, that felt ridiculously healing).

The true quest, as my wise guide reminded me, though, would actually begin, off the mountain, going back to the way life is there, hopefully, though, bringing the proverbial light down from the mountain — to where disconnection (loneliness) today feels like a societal norm.

And it’s true, the human condition today is one where, no matter if you’re in a marriage or surrounded by people or in nature or in the city, many people feel alone — and lonely. Again, especially these days. 

And it’s due to many things (insert cell phone emoji here), but healing longtime wounds and getting to know ourselves and develop ourselves emotionally are a couple important ones.

Though I went up to say goodbye to a handful of years of tragic loss and to generally challenge myself inside what makes up a vision quest (no shelter, no social interaction and no food…I‘ve always appreciated a good physical, emotional and/or spiritual challenge), I received much around this idea of loneliness, loss and disconnection and what to do about it (folding in a lot of it into my work with women).

And it’s no wonder, too, because the idea of a functioning [it takes a] village or true community, of consistent sitting or gathering together as we once did or as some cultures still do, and, as importantly, of rights of passage, are not usual modern-day practices (but it can be found, and better yet, created~> go, do…create what you want to be a part of!). 

The journey/the challenge/the path/the climb — the purpose — of most lessons or trials today, yesterday or tomorrow are here to assist us in exactly that ~> in being the creatives, the creators, of what we most want and need…

And though this creation does involve other humans (it must, we are social creatures, we need each other!), the part we often leave out or prioritize after everything or everyone else is the one with the person who will *always* be there ~ that relationship within which is THE one we can’t go without. 




Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,




Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur

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