Sell Them What They Want, Give Them What They Need” EXPLAINED

I sent this quick drawing to my client the other day as I was en route to Yosemite (can you believe I’ve never been!?) and I realize that it might also help you, so here it is!

If you’re confused as to what to sell (or what *will* sell) and how to actually also do the work you actually LOVE, this is how.

Though I’m oversimplifying, this exercise or example will help you begin to settle on what you’re hanging the OPEN sign of your business for (think tangible outcome/solution!) and what you’ll then also, in essence, over deliver around and actually give them once they walk through the door (think all the intangibles you love to truly go deep into that also ultimately support your clients in getting where they need to be!).

The whole sell them what they want and give them what they need thing.


The door or portal people will walk through is for 1) something tangible and 2) for something that solves one of their most urgent problems (this target is whom you may call your “profitable target market”).

Let’s workshop this now:

What’s your most tangible solution that BOTH solves an urgent (key word) problem that someone is willing to invest in right now?

Write it and draw it out now.

Even if you don’t love the answer, stay with me…

My tangible is logo work and tagline creation (but, like you, I would never just want to do logo work and tagline creation — I have so much more experience and expertise to share) SO I offer much more…BUT, I don’t confuse my messaging or marketing with trying to sell it all.

My specialty is branding and that’s what I sell most often. That’s my portal. Clients know they need this problem solved and solved immediately.


Now, once we’re working together on their movement’s overall message, tagline, logo etc. I give them all that I am truly about ~ I support them in coaching around mindset and their energy, around redefining motherhood and balance, help them with their schedules and other additional intangibles such as confidence. In other words, success coaching topics.

Let’s workshop this now:

What intangibles (or tangibles) that may or may not be your ideal clients’ pressing problem (that they know of anyway!) do you give once they’re seated in your home? In other words, as they are working with you?

Write it and draw it out now.

Focus on what they need to solve first (in other words, hear first). Then and only then, decide on the plan for how you’ll also give them what they need (all the extra support you’re amazing at and that will only support them to greater heights). 

Start with as much of the tangible as you can!

Then, once they’re through the door you can open up your bag of tricks and give them support around more. Knowing you, MUCH more. 🙂

Here’s another way of saying it —

If of everything you have great knowledge in, nine out of 10 clients want support around stress management (in other words, that’s what your client was most excited by fixing and willing to invest in), you’d give them that support and do it amazingly well. Clearly. 🙂

Then, once you were working together, you could then add specific opportunities to also work on the topics of self-esteem and confidence, explaining how they align and connect to their initial pressing problem of stress.


Your soul’s work CAN be done, you simply must do it where you’re taking the immediate issue off the table.

Said yet another way —

The more you help clients alleviate the pressing thing weighing on their minds, hearts and bodies, the more space they’ll have (and you’ll have!) to do the work that you know, without a shadow of a doubt, is your soul’s work.

Win. Win. WIN.

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,


Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach

p.s. The Success Mastermind focused on the 360-degree up level of each part of your business and landing inside one audacious goal is back!

We start in October. Stay tuned to this space for the daring details.

Six Ways (6) to Understand Self Love (number 4 is mine)

When gurus talk about giving yourself self-love and not being so hard on yourself (ever wonder what they mean exactly?), here’s a more tangible look at what they mean:

1. When you are less than who you know yourself to be (when you screw up), love yourself enough to own up to it. That’s self-love even if it doesn’t immediately sound or feel like it. Whenever we see that what is happening “to us” is ABOUT us and about that something inside we haven’t grown or expanded emotionally to fill or healed yet, we love ourselves most.

Responsibility hurts way less than resistibility. When you get into a practice of things hurting you less, you’ve found a zone of self-love. Keep following that feeling.

2. That said, stop apologizing so much. Be more precise with your words and own up by having purposeful conversations AND, let’s face it, sorry or SORROW isn’t always what you mean. Sometimes “I’m sorry” is the meaningful, divine and direct response and sometimes it’s unloving to self.

You needn’t ever apologize for taking up space, for speaking your truth in love or for bumping another human in yoga class. Next time you want to say I’m sorry, pause and see if another expression or touch of humor isn’t more exact and loving — to both of you. 

3. Whatever the specific grievance is around what someone else hasn’t done or isn’t doing for you, bring the focus back once again to YOU and get out or go IN and give that to yourself.

Be relentless about giving yourself the respect, flowers, admiration, exciting trips, hot tea, date nights, massages and attention you love. 

4. Remember that everyone is naked. In other words, EVERYONE is imperfect. Your friends, neighbors, family, and mentors all have issues and problems RIGHT NOW they aren’t necessarily talking about (and frankly don’t have to for you to feel the love that comes in accepting that in your imperfections your growth (and sexiness!) lies). The most attractive and emotionally strongest you’ve ever been is when you’ve surrendered to emotion and let yourself be seen in the mess, the slip or the fall and allowed others to give to you.

As a “strong” woman, I’ve never felt more soft and more loved by yours truly as when I’ve cried and ASKED girlfriends, in no uncertain terms, for support through my grief journeys and new normal as of late.

5. Don’t monitor what you want to say when it’s in service to your expression or growth of your art, your values OR your love for someone, especially when that someone may be someone who others disapprove of.

Self-love comes in following what our hearts say EVERY TIME and loving others fiercely especially when it’s the unpopular thing to do. 

6. When nervous to speak in front of a room or in front of ONE person in a conversation you know needs to be had, repeating the words “I own my energy and no one else’s, I own my energy and no one else’s, I own my energy and no one else’s” while you love yourself enough to breathe deeper and deepest is soothing and loving to the nervous system who has done her best to be with you on this long, wild ride. The truth is that this kind of nervousness is not necessarily always aboutUS.  Many times, it’s about what we think will be conjured up in THEM. In other words, spending too much time thinking about what they’re going to think or how you’ll look in their eyes or the space you’ll take up in their minds takes you out of your heart.

When you’re taken out of your heart and transported into your head, self-love feels really, really far away. And it is.

The higher vibration (of LOVE) brought on by these practices is how you’ll know it IS love, she/he, your truest love. . .

Much love, Creative Heroine!

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,

Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach

p.s. The waitlist for the CEO Changemaker mastermind is open!

Meet Clients Doing What You Love (VIDEO)

Do you want to authentically grow your following and your connection to ideal, soulmate clients?

And meet the right kind of clients? Me too. 🙂 Always and in all ways.

Check out one of the latest live-streams here:

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,

Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach