Disillusioned with Coaches?

I’ve had more potential clients than I can count tell me over the years how disillusioned they are with the coaching industry. I’ve never shared thoughts publicly around it —

Though I have felt some of what I’ve heard the last seven years while being a coach, more so than I ever did in the nine years prior when running my design business (not being a coach), this is a larger business, trust and money situation.

In fact, what I’m going to share with you next has served and maybe it will you, too, as you continue to grow your company/business/practice:

(think of it as)

I come from an industry of one.

You come from an industry of one.

Uniquely finding, creating and expressing your place in the world professionally that adds to the collective personality.

Build with that in mind and you will ask more from yourself and, therefore, shift what we expect and ask for as a collective…

When you move through your work life like this, you drown out the guru, money, you need this or need me to be successful noise and you feel a peace that is essential to share your FULL talents with as many people as possible…in short, remembering what it’s really about, and, therefore, as a purposeful result, making exactly the money you want.

In using this filter or shifting the perspective, I don’t mean, turn a blind eye to the issues you have seen, but I do mean, ~> do the in integrity, focused on bringing about real meaning and change thing, the generous, teaching something you have life or professional experience in thing, you know, do the human you thing louder than ever have SO THAT you help those very issues.

Go old school — serve and genuinely support someone and another someone and another, day in and day out, especially when the cameras are not on…do right by people and you will change what you don’t like…that’s it, no drama, simply daring to change by being that change.

But, again, it’s not (just) the coaching industry and this is what I most want to open the conversation up to today —

This disillusionment points to a larger Pandora’s box in society, our human “industry” and how we (including myself here) have put power, notoriety or influence and money first.

We tend to put all of it (our ego self) higher on the mantle than the very human lives we’ve been entrusted with.

Burn it down, start again — and I think we are…

What many feel is also very much a consequence of the virtual world we live in and how far or distant we’ve gotten from our clients. We don’t talk about this enough. When I started my design and consulting business after leaving the ad industry in 2001 sans social media and sans finding clients via the internet, the (one-to-one and) face-to-face model going strong, there weren’t these same things being discussed. (If you’re not getting results with the virtual, find people who still value and create opportunities for the non-virtual within the industry that you can afford or invest in).

The truth is, being high tech has helped us all connect our talents to those in all parts of the world who need them. Just as grateful as I am for what the coaching industry DOES absolutely do for people (it changes lives in so many ways), I am also grateful for the high tech and virtual. It’s simply up to all of us to use them responsibly…

In other words, if we’re missing the high touch way (the ‘people first’ approach in our virtual business or marketing and/or, generally, in the way we or others move about this new age professional world), what are we building behind our computers? For me, it’s always a question of what decisions, at the end of my life, and what priorities will I have been most proud of? Again, old school…you know, the rocking chair theory.

Will we be most proud we got the additional 5, 15, 25 or 100 more people to join our latest program, made the million dollar mark goal or that we fully supported those 100 or 1,000,000 people, always looking out for their best interests?

It may feel like we’re splitting hairs or saying the same thing above as they, of course, are or can be connected, but it’s not the same thing or we shouldn’t imply, anyway, that making money always means we are doing it with integrity. Intention is everything. Is it plain money or meaning money we’re after?

I understand that as business owners we want to make (more) money or that we finally need to get over the hump and make a real profitable go at this, however, if you’re working with someone because, be honest, you were seduced primarily by their money results than ever digging into the other stuff, then, the onus is on you, too.

There must be a connection and a depth of relating to the rest so you feel empowered and you leave that relationship filled and with all-encompassing results you most want to create.

Get clear about why you are choosing someone — be honest about what’s important and speak to your full self, human, and soul. And, if you’re the chosen, move forward with that client or group as if you are creating your own industry or brand of one within an industry…because you (always) are.

In the end, we always get what we’ve let guide our decision process (ego/mind/fear or gut/intuition/synergy?). And, money is always well spent. If you’ve worked with someone who taught you what you didn’t want to do in your own business, that is not less valuable than someone who taught what you DO want to do.

In short, if you make decisions mainly to create to a financial end, you will almost always be dissatisfied or disillusioned, because your truest self, deep down, doesn’t only want or need that.

Legacy (on both the coaches and coach side) isn’t built with a pile of money, it’s built with the people you prioritize and see as people first, second and third, not as the participants or clients who will help you reach the financial goal in a program or year.

Work with people who you relate to.

Work with people who make you feel like a person from that first email or sales call. 

Work with people you’ve watched do their thing for a while…

You’ll feel it.

You’ll know it.

Just don’t ignore IT. (I= Your Intuition, T= Your Truth)

In other words, stop brushing aside what you have a gut sense about and that is most important to you to do what you think the “cool” kids are doing. (The “cool” kids are looking for meaning, too).

As a coach/consultant/mentor (whatever the title, don’t get too focused on that, really it’s all people work) talk about and search for those who can help you build the money you want. Money is what helps our businesses continue to do the great work they do, but make sure, too, to speak and work with people you have an actual connection with (albeit virtual) and that you, deep down, trust that they can help move you to money results, without only focusing on that. If you know you want a depth to that money, choose based on that. But resist pure money for money’s sake being the thing that consistently speaks loudest…

Make revenue a priority (please do) and make sure that you and anyone you work with are keeping, in mind and heart, that this money comes from a human being that deserves great care.

In short, go back to feeling what this industry of one you want to continue to build is about — what do you value and what’s THE value…focus on the “meaning money” you want to make and find someone who will help you get there.

The truest of true is that the coaching industry helps millions of people every day. Hats off. And, it has the best chance to continue if we each hold ourselves accountable for building the legacy we will be most proud of.

As we know with dollar bills, the power of one always adds up.

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,


 Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach

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