Blog

About Loneliness

[A quick photo taken listening to a great playlist on my flight to meet my sister-in-law in New Orleans]

We need to hear this. We need other people.

 

It’s come up in three different conversations this week, one with a family member and the other two with best friends:
 

Loneliness.

 

Specifically, “I feel alone…” (what I’m about to share is the opposite of this).

 

Though there’s much I could say on the subject (I was told by a friend I needed a chapter in my book on it), I will focus on this…

 

In the years of inner work done and ongoing, even before getting into this industry as my life’s work, I realized that both truths below are relevant and true.

 

I’ll get to them, but, in short, believing that only one is right or true, is doing further disservice and causing additional or deeper loneliness, confusion and separation (from ourselves and loved ones around us). 

 

In short, yes, it’s up to us and we CAN also rely on our relationships. Please do. We should! There. I’ve. Said. It.: should, should, should. 

 

It may feel like the personal development and self-help world highlights that happiness is called ours for a reason ~ that it’s our charge and no one else’s and it does often. 

 

Because in the end, this is who we actually have — ourselves — yup, it’s up to us to be so unapologetic about our joy that we create it for ourselves, but, what is rarely connected in this breath is this~> you, beautiful woman, can exercise your needs of being a social creature, too (this is our nature — we were *not* meant to live in isolation, we were meant to call on our people!). 

 

Call! 

 

Fly there!

 

Rely on your tightest of relationships to bring you much happiness. Because they will — and when they do, they will add mountains of sugar on top ***to the happiness you’re already bringing to your life.***

 

Those articles, coaches (I’m one who has said it, too), gurus etc continue: “Create your own joy, you’re the one who has pole position. Do your inner work to get there, find yourself, don’t put your happiness in anyone else’s lap or let them drive the car. Drive it. Again, create it for yourself because husbands, friends, parents, etc, no one is here to make you happy or make life right for you.”

 

Hard to accept at times for many, but it is all true. We control one thing: how we feel and what we do consistently to nurture our own internal landscape.

 

I  d e e p l y believe and live this (but there’s also more). 

 

I’ve spoken about the former with friends, in workshops, during private client sessions (just yesterday), in articles, on FB and on more than I can count.

 

I’ve even outed myself and told Josh and Nolan various times (I want Nolan to know/feel this for his own self as he grows) that each of them in my life are gifts, two divine icings on top of a cake. 

 

But ~ “…it’s notttt your responsibility to “make” me happy. So, if I’m moody or sad or whatever, you’re not supposed to fix it or ‘make me happy’. Let’s be kind to one another and prioritize communication, respect and closeness, yes, but this doesn’t mean you are in charge of the level of satisfaction or fulfillment I feel in or with my life.”

 

Because, self inquiry: Can I truly be “made” happy when I’ve not internally already found that place within? The responsibility is mine/ours, to tend to our internal gardens. What haven’t we looked at square in the face? What fun, healing and joy have we not created in our own lives?

 

Again, the personal development or self help world is not wrong, but where it can feel or go wrong inside is that you believe that since this (happiness/peace/joy) is, ultimately, your “job”, that no one else needs to inhabit an emotional space in your life that you can count on TOO.

 

This is a **too** situation.

 

***Hear this: Counting on and waiting for someone to fill you up or making something different in their interaction with you, so you can feel better or best are two different things.***

 

They’re not responsible for your happiness, but yes, you CAN rely on your allies (“in ally, I can rely…”).

 

In fact, go…get on planes and trains and nurture these connections that were made in and from the stars, the friendships that will be there to share in your joy and pick you up when you’ve tripped or stayed fallen for awhile. 

 

Create new allies, even ~ and, yes, be a damn good one to yourself! 

 

Consciously create for yourself a circle of women around you who will be there to aid in another layer of your innate joy or peace (again, the kind you’ve been designing and devoted to for yourself for some time).  

 

We need other women.

 

What’s real and also connected to this: to expect our spouses to be everything ~ to be our romantic partners, as well as our girlfriends, therapists, life coaches and business consultants was never the point. 🙂

 

Also — we all get busy and go internal or “dark” with young kids, businesses, grief and changes galore, but right now is a good time to do great good in your life inside relationships.

 

Who are your people? Tell them, be there for them, allow them to be there for you, all while you do the honest work of getting to know yourself on a more intimate level.

 

Tend —

…to your garden and know you’re a great additional waterer in the gardens of your closest sister-like relationships, too (as are they in yours).

 

Lean back, girl. The ones you knowwww got you, DO!

#friendshipexperiment

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,
Michelle

michelle-black-sig-md-light

 

 

 

Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur

Greater Good Party Austin! (Photos)

[Hubby and I with our GGP co-hosts in Texas]

The Greater Good Party Austin! It was so good, it was great. Thank you all for attending and welcoming us so warmly!

For those who weren’t there, the inaugural party in Austin went down Saturday night (the first GGP in Texas), the 9th total in the U.S. and the 3rd outside LA and California).

Amanda Russell, dear friend + our brilliant co-host and co-leader, who invited us out to help her create a chapter in Austin, described the GGP absolutely perfectly yesterday:

“In a nutshell, we curated some of the finest people from all industries and walks of life to come together in a 1930’s salon style gathering to put some of the most talented, brilliant and generous minds together for real human connection to see what could happen when you replace the ‘“I” with “we”’ mentality.

From surgeons and scientists, to best-selling authors, performers and top executives at some of the biggest companies on the planet, the GGP has a way of connecting people to cultivate true relationships for the greater good of our lives, and this world. I’ve learned first-hand that the greatest gift we have on this earth are true relationships and those relationships shape, not just our lives, but who we become. Relationships that are not transactional. They are transformational.”

And this is exactly what it’s all about (!), all alongside art, poetry, song and meaningful talk//topics.

In the Spring of 2017, Josh Mandel and I (as with others) felt a reboot of optimistic friends (who weren’t feeling so optimistic) was in order, so we set out to create this experiment called the GGP.

Specifically, we wanted to help more and more people 1) move their purposeful (optimistic) projects off the backburner of their lives to the front burner (an activated person makes for a more fulfilled people) and 2) get their communities together more consistently and in unique ways that push the boundaries of what we think of when we say, “I’m going to a party” and what you do once you get there.

As I said the other day, as Josh and I started traveling to help others plan and curate their own GGPs (NYC, SF and now Austin), what we more deeply started to understand as the value for new co-hosts or founding friends (whether they’ve lived in that city one year or 20) is that it’s helping to connect them to a vibrant *extended* community and to new people from across industries (something most of us don’t even know we desire until we have it and can’t believe we lived so long without it).

In August of 2017, we started the first GGP here in LA as our answer to the above (as well as in response to the question I posed to Josh Mandel: “how can we use the love and mutual respect felt between us for more — for a greater good beyond us?”).

We had created a baby 11.5 years prior, a public grief blog after my baby brother Dino died, helped teach our first college course around the GGP tenets, as well as helping students integrate more of themselves in their next chapter of life — but, now what? What do we focus on as a couple and stick with…as…a…couple (better together is one of the tenets and was also chosen as the theme for the night in Austin)?

The key being to keep with it (whatever that IT is) and remembering that from small things, big things do grow.

Thank you again to Thom Singer who kicked us off inside meaningful storytelling and the topic of compounded generosity and to Alan Stein Jr.. who flew out from D.C. and brilliantly had the room uniquely reflect on potential, as well as around how physical touch raises energy (check out his book Raise Your Game!). Grateful to you both for the energy you brought with you, thank you!

Thank you to our gracious hosts, co-leaders and founding friends, Amanda Russell and Matt Calhoun, beautiful humans, dear friends and powerhouses, as I’ve said before, who put their trust in us and who joined forces with us to pull this off. We love you and love the people you brought together!

Thank you to Ryan Coursey and Ricky for photography and videography to commemorate the evening!

Thank you to Tim Hayden from Brain + Trust Partners for your generosity with the musical talent (true GGP spirit!) and to James Speer and Andrew Crosby (Kana LiVolsi-Crosby) who each helped us fill the room with song.

The 65/70 of us in attendance even closed out the night singing “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey (we passed around lyrics to make sure we got it just right, 🎸 ). ‘Tis a party, after all.

What a room full of talented, warm-hearted people — we are grateful to you all!

Our next stop? A place called Sleep Town. And then a 50 person private GGP here in LA on Wednesday for the Transcendental Meditation organization. We will host another public GGP here in LA likely in April (stay tuned), as well one in Amsterdam that month, too.

Thank you, Josh, for co-creating with me in all the ways that it happens every day, yes with the GGP, but I mean with Nolan and pup Holland in the simplest of ways, which, you know, makes me so happy.

To see all the photos from the greater good party, click HERE!

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,
Michelle

 

 

 

Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur

Higher Calling Found HERE

Somewhere high in the sky LA to Austin, a note for knowing and living our calling:

 

The reason it’s important to develop ourselves (“to grow” as people call it), or, in other words, to create or meet a higher self, someone with a greater awareness of themselves and with a greater capacity to LET more go emotionally is so we can feel the higher calling that’s been placed on our heart. 

 

We each have one.

 

Yet, it’s incredibly difficult to connect to it if we’re constantly bringing ourselves back to the tarmac of small thoughts, disempowering words or revengeful (even in the slightest way) actions.

 

To reach this higher ground of meaning demands higher thoughts [of ourselves & others], higher words [“ “ “] and higher actions 

[“ “ “] (and specifically, the unification of them all). 

 

This is what’s called the high road. 

 

It takes you places, this road — places that can’t and won’t be bought with money or influence, but where ample amounts await with integrity, a clear conscience and heart-opening honesty (also known as the cousin of forgiveness). 

 

When disagreements or perceived problems with others come, we’re being asked to rise to the occasion using higher thoughts, words and actions; to this place where we have even 5% more each day of a 35,000 foot perspective. 

 

Growing or developing self means rising to the occasion known as the everyday. 

 

Because, purpose is not something to find (it’s yours right now and inside at all times), it’s something to rise to (we get plenty of opportunities throughout the mundane Monday to day).

 

What we decide to think, say and do in those everyday moments either creates the space or opening for that higher calling to make itself known a little more (shine its way through) or not….

 

It wants to. 

 

Trust that it always wants to.

 

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,
Michelle

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur

Don’t Confuse Being Kind

Feeling blocked creatively or not feeling able to reach goals (or being plain unhappy), time and time again can come from this

Confusing being positive, a “light”, spiritual or kind with bending so far that other’s thoughts, words and actions take the lead in our lives.

The way we feel most free and able to accelerate higher calling pursuits comes through using that positive-mindedness, light, spiritual connectedness and kindness to say what we’ve thought about saying many times— to ourselves or others  in fuller service and deeper respect for and to ourselves. 

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,
Michelle

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur