Before I arrived to the refugee camp a week ago this past Sunday, I thought the greatest romance was that with your beloved. You be loved, Josh, and madly.
Monday, I remembered it was that which you have with yourself. You can’t love anybody else if you don’t see the possibility of great love when you look at yourself.
Tuesday came and I sat on the ground helping a man in his new normal try on used shoes for winter and wanted to shout, it’s the men, the men, LOVE your men, honor them, listen to them, laugh with them. The greatest global romance comes back to, I wanted to keep shouting, how deeply (key word, spread it) our men feel seen, heard and understood from a young age.
Wednesday rolled in and I was invited inside the pod/upgraded tent of a Syrian family by a fierce mama and, later that afternoon, I thought of my work with women at home and wrote these three words down on a scratch piece of paper: my soul’s sister. I remembered then, my gorgeous sister, who doesn’t look much different than me, that, although we were born to different families and to different parts of the world, you are me and I am you. Romance. This was it — feeling as one. Two things are always the same for all of us, I wanted to be able to keep telling her — our feelings, each one of ours run the gamut between deep sadness or fear and happiness and elation — please know that I have felt all, too, in my own way. And, of course, we are sisters swimming in the same deep desire wanting our families to be healthy and, rather simply, happy, dignity intact. Though I’ve never lived through war, I would have continued, my heart wants to know your pain and that is the greatest of love, too. Loving you as myself, sitting with you as I have sat nurturing myself and, of course, with thoughts, words and actions, using the energy of my own fierce mama heart to fight for your full protection, helping to pull you up once you’re finally able or ready, and not stopping until that happens. This is the great work of the greatest romance between true sisters. At the heart of every forever romance is remembering that without woman, there is no life. LOVE her, acknowledge her and tend to that fire within her, every day.
Then, Thursday, as with the days prior, I spoke with one thing only: my hands. I realized, then, that I held the key to the greatest romance in the same place — my hands…and, add to that, my eyes and expressions that did not want to stop until we each felt fully understood. It can be done. We can understand each other more, to the left, to the right and deep down, with time. But it can’t be rushed, so, we create the time for this greatest of romances. In this daytime dream Thursday, language was entirely optional, but compassion, striving to communicate in other ways and working for the greatest good are and were not. For a world that is just, these fine details for a great romance — a great life — is a must.
Friday came quick and I was brought along into the temporary homes of war-torn Syrian families who had just delivered babies. Teeny tiny babies! Seeing the babies asleep, I woke up. Later, looking into their eyes, I thought of Nolan, my niece and nephews and all the children I loved up on this week and prayed for this kind of great romance — that love from all sides and colors — white, black, red, yellow, and beyond would encircle all children and create the well and loving village of acceptance they would learn from to share with others, whether that someone was similar to them or not. As we arrived to the second home, I realized I needed to add this: the greatest love is the decision you make, possibly even the most difficult in that very moment, to fill yourself with the beauty of that person, any person in front of you, at any given moment. Children, though often unseen by many, cannot be, for us to move forward in peace vs. pieces. LOVE them with your ears, mouth and time.
Saturday, as I prepped to leave physically, but not emotionally, I am worlds more aware and responsible for the greatest romance that exists in us all — romance or, in other words, the curiosity of seeing in ourselves the fear, the war, the anger and separation we, ourselves, have perpetuated in our lives. This energy counts when you look at the goings on for the whole.
To everyone I served this week and to all my friends, family and neighbors, near and far, I am sorry for my part in ever keeping fear, the opposite of love and romance, alive.
Shall we all take note?
Sunday, I vowed to spend the day in bed with the truest of all greatest romances, which is all encompassing and which means putting genuine love, soul salve and solution into everything and to everyone who shows up.
In essence, cozying up, cool sheets and warm pillow, to commitment and responsibility to come back to any place, inside or outside, near or far, that desperately needs love, compassion, healing, freedom, or an activation of our realness or humanity.
To all of you, especially my family and clients, who have emailed or posted: next time, I vow to bring you with me. This will be the plan I work on romancing Monday, but, for now, I look toward nothing but this, my day of rest with Important Responsibility.
Whatever and whoever lies before me tonight or tomorrow’s tomorrow, is and will always be, my greatest romance.
Life is good,