Author Archives: michelle

Strategy that Surprised Me

ᗪᗩᖇᒪIᑎG, I’ᗰ ᕼEᖇE ᖴOᖇ YOᑌ 

ᗪᗩᖇᒪIᑎG, I KᑎOᗯ YOᑌ’ᖇE TᕼEᖇE

Over the last four years, I’ve (re)learned that relationships are a success strategy. 

Just as you might workout, eat for your body type and needed energy level or want to get great sleep for your system to feel ready for the goals ahead that day, or how, on the business side, you might invest in a mentor to show you the how-to of next level thinking and doing or of powerful communication for growth, taking time to nurturing relationships is as much the powerful manifestor (the original story from Thursday about taking time to (re) find my passion and what I have learned after loss is here: https://bit.ly/2S4xbm6). 

True relat-ing inside relationships is the creator of an energy that kicks up good stuff in all areas of your life.

I remember when I was first working with Karen Salmansohn on the book about death (really, about life) and telling her that in writing a book on the subject I knew I was also committing to writing a book about the things that happen when we *don’t* have connection or community. 

One which rises to the top today is loneliness (we have a lot of it in society today due to the uber-focus or dependence on both the virtual and digital).

I remember vividly as a middle schooler feeling uncomfortable if I thought someone was lonely. That hasn’t changed today, but the understanding of how togetherness sustains us has. 

The simple calls, visits or vulnerability we make space to honor or give to those we love (or who we would like to understand more deeply) is anything but. 

They’re not simple. They’re powerful igniters of strength, understanding, and humanity that we need to balance out the growth (and wear and tear) of our modern ways and days.

We are social creatures. Our wiring begs for us to be connected — and often. When we aren’t or go long periods without, we suffer.

Although I’ve known the goodness that comes from nurturing relationships or connection intellectually (and benefited from them all throughout my life in beautiful ways), I’ve never felt it (or done as much about it) to the depth, breadth, and width I do or feel it now. And if I have to admit that it took a loss to get me here, then I will.

::: It took loss to get me here :::

It was easy/easier to be a “good” friend, sister or daughter when we didn’t have kids or on the day before the grief journey began or was it? I’ve heard myself joke about this, as have many friends.

At some point, we can snuggle up to the ‘you make time for the things/people you want to make time for’ truth and see and feel schedules accommodate and time/energy magically expand as we start to receive the benefits of a renewed closeness.

After re-evaluating most everything during the journey back to one’s own life after losing a beloved, I realized something else…

As a woman curious about the world, I’ve almost always felt restless between adventures. Loss highlighted that for me more. 

What genuinely started as an experiment (#friendshipexperiment) in connecting or re-connecting with those I love, even apologizing to some for falling off the face of the earth, helped me see (RE-see) that creating tender or unique experiences *for* those I love was not only a worthy goal, but a practice — something now to keep doing over and over. Not only that, I realized that this was one of the very things that would also mitigate the restlessness felt between the adventures of other kinds that I still wanted to take on. 

There’s no substitute to genuine effort or to experiencing something special together that then leads to a conversation that expands the relationship because of what’s been broken down (walls, maybe) and been given (life — always).

A few days ago, my dear Robyn, texted me the podcast episode “How to Listen with Compassion” (I highly recommend it: apple.co/2S9S0Ni) with Thich Nhat Hanh and in it, he shared the following three lovely and very simple mantras. They express the grace, purity, and tenderness that can be found or re-found in relationships should we decide to give to them in new ways:

  • To say to someone when they need you: Darling, I’m here for you (repeat at least 3x).
  • To say to yourself when you, yourself, need someone: Darling I know you’re there (repeat at least 3x).
  • To say to someone whom you’ve hurt: I know you suffer (as a result of my words or actions) and that is why I am here for you (repeat 3x).

He spoke eloquently about what “deep listening” is and how our very presence standing there with someone (genuinely wanting to be there) already brings quick relief; it offers them the “immediate chance to suffer less”. 

He spoke about not being able to go very far without community and I’ve seen both to be true.

In my last share on Thursday, I mentioned that sometimes the best thing we can do to find purpose is to let it find us. Today I add ~ when we find the goodness in our relationships again, as if for the first time (it will feel like the first time), purpose is cheekily there, too. 

And if we *keep* making the effort…keep doing the flying to, the making of the phone calls, the writing of those letters (and, as importantly, a good receiver of all of the above and of someone’s love for *us*), and not just to or with the easiest of our friendships or family relationships, but to our more challenging, we’ll find our purpose there, too.

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,​

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur 

Increase the Sexy in Marriage (+ finding your true passion)

Ooof. This man. The cutest. This is a photo from The Creative Heroine Experience I created earlier this year as a give-back for the creative community in LA. 

In attendance, we had actors, entrepreneurs, writers, venture capitalists, performers, artists, producers, authors, social entrepreneurs, activists, directors, healers, students, and this guy ~ he sat in the audience with this same gentle smile he’s woken me up with the last 20 years and it made the eight-hour experience I hosted even more of one — an experience. That’s what it’s all about. Life. Romance. Parenthood. Friendship. Business. (I’ve even added the word to my logo as of late). 

Create that — an experience of it (whatever IT is) and I promise you won’t feel as restless between adventures as you do right now

In the share posted yesterday about taking time to find out what your true passion (if you haven’t read it, you can check it out in my feed below), I shared that sometimes the best thing we can do to find out purpose is to let it find us (and some other stuff about synchronicity, etc). (-:

One thing I left out, but that I’ve talked about before is that 

during a time such as this ~ of your evolving ~ a passionate and sexy idea is to get more involved with your mate (evolved > involved > evolved > involved). 

Create…together. 

For us, creating another baby wasn’t what we ended up deciding to do or try for, but we did create something (else) for a community which was the Greater Good Party (and the How Good’s This podcast as an extension of it, too). 

We also began supporting entrepreneur types with their missions and messages.

When you’re attempting to match the new you whose emerging, passionately creating something new with that one person, with THE one, is a fruitful and genuinely sexy exercise.

In this time of my “pause” (again, check out yesterday’s share) and the evolving of my work (his, too), there’s been increased synchronicity. Inside our creation(s), and generally in life.

I attribute that to a few things or ways of thinking/living, not the least of which is that we are using the love felt in a relationship and in the family for good — for something beyond us. 

We all can use our relationships for that. What we’ve heard is that you may not know what TO do or feel that you have the time, but it’s there for you if you want it. Reach out and we’ll help you find the time AND the idea, xo.

The Greater Good Party has taken on a life of its own and we are as committed as ever to keep it growing with your excitement in other cities. Before and after NYC and SF, we’ve had interest in other cities, too. It’s time that we, too, are making to fit it all in. Next up, outside LA, will be Austin in February (let us know if you live there!).

For those of you in LA who’ve never been to a GGP, and are around early December, comment below or send us a message and we’ll let you know if we have room. We’d love to see you and entertain you as the performers and speakers empower you to take your passion project off the back burner and move it to the front burner).

Happy Saturday to you, Creative Heroine, and here’s to the pause that acts as kindling for purpose and romance!

Mmm romance. 

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur 

Meet Client Sinead (NYC by storm, the model who talks tech)

My client, Sinead, “the model who talks tech” as a 20-something is taking NYC by storm helping to bridge the gap between millennials and the digital future.

I’m inspired daily by her tenacity, grit and drive (amongst other things). 

She’s the founder and CEO of WAYE (Weekly Advice for the Entrepreneur) and she hosts — and is known for — Waye Talks in NYC (and expanding). She also recently spoke at the United Nations and received an award last week for Young Alumni of the Year at her alma mater business school in Canada.

A few months ago, we started working together on continuing to get after her core passion and building a solid foundation (with arms and whistles) around it. We followed with setting up the business structures, a solid brand strategy, communicating the part of her story that had human interest and getting her out there to speak outside her own events.

If you’re a human [at any age] who needs inspiration this morning (or in life or in your business right now), enjoy her inception story here:

www.wayetalks.com (the video is the first thing you’ll see)

If you’d like to follow what WAYE is doing outside their site (IG: @sineadbovell or @wayetalks) or want to forward/share this video to someone who may benefit from the story/wisdom, please do.

She’s one (WAYE is one and her video is one) to watch! 

xo

If you’d like to work on your story during our Ecstatic Experience Virtual Immersion, join us BELOW. >>>

SERVING YOU….

As shared above, the Ecstatic Experience Virtual Immersion — the LIVE but virtual version of the Ecstatic Experience Immersion Day is HERE

Take this class with me and learn:

  • What THE brilliant idea for yours is 
  • The framework or step by step of an event-turned-experience 
  • How to price it (unless you decide to have it sponsored)
  • The branding/naming of it
  • The authentic marketing plan for it
  • The six-month plan — what needs to be done month after month for ease and grace  
  • How to weave in your powerful story (and more!)

The full detail and registration can be found HERE (payment plan and bonus info informed too).

Here’s to creating your own first or next Ecstatic Experience — whether that be a workshop, retreat, small gathering or large gathering!

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,​

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur 

What’s Next For Me? (what I did may help you with this Q)

Camping at Joshua Tree then Carpinteria Beach last weekend…
he/us/this — my biggest friendship experiment yet?

Many months back as I was still gaining clarity around the Greater Good Party and in the middle of planning for the Creative Heroine Experience here in LA, I received this email from my assistant after I had left her a message that I now refer to as a chicken soup for the soul moment:

“Loved your check-in. And love the (full) update on what’s going on with you (and MGI). You have so much to share with the world and I’m so glad you’re always taking the time to find out where your passion lies. Xo”

As I shared in my community newsletter yesterday (you can find the article at the top of my blog at link below), what she was referring to was the time that I’ve taken, not just in 2018 but in 2017 and 2016 and 2015 and 2014 to intentionally pause to make sure that what I was doing, why I was doing it and how I was doing it was in most honest sync with the woman who had emerged from the previous few years of tragic loss. 

I’ll never forget that door knock in 2013 or phone call in 2015, just as you’ll never forget the day/the year/the decade when your heart grew wings. But, just as I’ll never forget the knock or the call, that’s not what I constantly think about or had consistently thought about years prior. What I did consistently think about (or more – was excitedly feeling out) was, what to do now? What’s there for *this* me NOW?

With what I believe is true now – which way is up? What does success mean today? How do I romantically evolve a business, a motherhood, a marriage and all friendships with what the heart inside this body now knows? How can I bring a new aspect of the woman I am today to everything I do, say and show, knowing that the external expression of who I am or of what I do gets to change just as my internal environment does?

Pausing, as I’ve come to realize, doesn’t necessarily mean taking a complete hiatus from life or work or from the thing you love. For some, it may mean that and that’s perfect. But for others it means continuing to move (doesn’t even have to be forward), traveling down familiar paths, zig-zagging and testing things, all with more of a student mind, asking more questions and listening better to the answers which don’t always come in full sentences. You’re pregnant with what and who wants to emerge…

Pause. What is my passion now…is it the same? 
Ask. Have my talents become more heightened? 
Test it out. Am I enjoying this?

Over the last five years (and especially over the last four), I’ve re-evaluated everything. Friendships. Money. Writing. How I work. What I work on and who I help. I have also re-evaluated what giving and receiving as practices [or rituals] mean and how they, specifically, the giving and receiving parts, play vital ying and yang roles in the maximization of life — my life.

As I said at the Creative Heroine Experience last March, we never lose anything or anyone if we don’t lose the lesson.

In this first sharing of what I’ve come to know (there’s more I’ll share) is that a deeper — THE deepest level — of relat-ing, and in-person connection was the impulse; this is what I wanted to continue to build professionally and personally everyday. 

Hence the living out (still going) of the Friendship Experiment, which maybe you’ve seen the video of and my main focus around creating event experiences for clients (retreats, homey (homie :-)) workshops, Creative Heroine Experience, Greater Good Parties (the next one in LA is scheduled for December and Austin is coming in February), breaking bread with humans throughout all of the above and the very latest with The Ecstatic Experience Immersion Day on 9/29 and it’s virtual edition launched this morning – they’re all external expressions of what’s now taking full residence internally).

So, maybe pause with those toughest of life experiences and ask as many questions after “what’s next??” as maybe a four-year-old would. 

The most helpful of answers and next steps will come (WILL come) and beautifully, too — right here –> in the synchronicities — the ‘random’ emails or phone calls, the right place, right time moments which may also surprise you (but expect them), the ideas dropped into you in the middle of the night (or in the middle of your shower or middle of your mat), as well as inside the feeling of the accelerated ideas that just want to “go”; that most want to be birthed. Follow those most and release the rest, seriously release the rest. Because the best thing we can do to find our purpose sometimes is to let it find us.

Make happiness your business by creating your authentic brand…enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,

michelle-black-sig-md-light
Michelle Ghilotti
Success Designer, Brand Activator & Social Entrepreneur 

SERVING YOU…

Join us for the month of planning and launching your next or first (ecstatic  –  that’s how you’ll feel) event experience! 🙂