Disillusioned with Coaches?

I’ve had more potential clients than I can count tell me over the years how disillusioned they are with the coaching industry. I’ve never shared thoughts publicly around it —

Though I have felt some of what I’ve heard the last seven years while being a coach, more so than I ever did in the nine years prior when running my design business (not being a coach), this is a larger business, trust and money situation.

In fact, what I’m going to share with you next has served and maybe it will you, too, as you continue to grow your company/business/practice:

(think of it as)

I come from an industry of one.

You come from an industry of one.

Uniquely finding, creating and expressing your place in the world professionally that adds to the collective personality.

Build with that in mind and you will ask more from yourself and, therefore, shift what we expect and ask for as a collective…

When you move through your work life like this, you drown out the guru, money, you need this or need me to be successful noise and you feel a peace that is essential to share your FULL talents with as many people as possible…in short, remembering what it’s really about, and, therefore, as a purposeful result, making exactly the money you want.

In using this filter or shifting the perspective, I don’t mean, turn a blind eye to the issues you have seen, but I do mean, ~> do the in integrity, focused on bringing about real meaning and change thing, the generous, teaching something you have life or professional experience in thing, you know, do the human you thing louder than ever have SO THAT you help those very issues.

Go old school — serve and genuinely support someone and another someone and another, day in and day out, especially when the cameras are not on…do right by people and you will change what you don’t like…that’s it, no drama, simply daring to change by being that change.

But, again, it’s not (just) the coaching industry and this is what I most want to open the conversation up to today —

This disillusionment points to a larger Pandora’s box in society, our human “industry” and how we (including myself here) have put power, notoriety or influence and money first.

We tend to put all of it (our ego self) higher on the mantle than the very human lives we’ve been entrusted with.

Burn it down, start again — and I think we are…

What many feel is also very much a consequence of the virtual world we live in and how far or distant we’ve gotten from our clients. We don’t talk about this enough. When I started my design and consulting business after leaving the ad industry in 2001 sans social media and sans finding clients via the internet, the (one-to-one and) face-to-face model going strong, there weren’t these same things being discussed. (If you’re not getting results with the virtual, find people who still value and create opportunities for the non-virtual within the industry that you can afford or invest in).

The truth is, being high tech has helped us all connect our talents to those in all parts of the world who need them. Just as grateful as I am for what the coaching industry DOES absolutely do for people (it changes lives in so many ways), I am also grateful for the high tech and virtual. It’s simply up to all of us to use them responsibly…

In other words, if we’re missing the high touch way (the ‘people first’ approach in our virtual business or marketing and/or, generally, in the way we or others move about this new age professional world), what are we building behind our computers? For me, it’s always a question of what decisions, at the end of my life, and what priorities will I have been most proud of? Again, old school…you know, the rocking chair theory.

Will we be most proud we got the additional 5, 15, 25 or 100 more people to join our latest program, made the million dollar mark goal or that we fully supported those 100 or 1,000,000 people, always looking out for their best interests?

It may feel like we’re splitting hairs or saying the same thing above as they, of course, are or can be connected, but it’s not the same thing or we shouldn’t imply, anyway, that making money always means we are doing it with integrity. Intention is everything. Is it plain money or meaning money we’re after?

I understand that as business owners we want to make (more) money or that we finally need to get over the hump and make a real profitable go at this, however, if you’re working with someone because, be honest, you were seduced primarily by their money results than ever digging into the other stuff, then, the onus is on you, too.

There must be a connection and a depth of relating to the rest so you feel empowered and you leave that relationship filled and with all-encompassing results you most want to create.

Get clear about why you are choosing someone — be honest about what’s important and speak to your full self, human, and soul. And, if you’re the chosen, move forward with that client or group as if you are creating your own industry or brand of one within an industry…because you (always) are.

In the end, we always get what we’ve let guide our decision process (ego/mind/fear or gut/intuition/synergy?). And, money is always well spent. If you’ve worked with someone who taught you what you didn’t want to do in your own business, that is not less valuable than someone who taught what you DO want to do.

In short, if you make decisions mainly to create to a financial end, you will almost always be dissatisfied or disillusioned, because your truest self, deep down, doesn’t only want or need that.

Legacy (on both the coaches and coach side) isn’t built with a pile of money, it’s built with the people you prioritize and see as people first, second and third, not as the participants or clients who will help you reach the financial goal in a program or year.

Work with people who you relate to.

Work with people who make you feel like a person from that first email or sales call. 

Work with people you’ve watched do their thing for a while…

You’ll feel it.

You’ll know it.

Just don’t ignore IT. (I= Your Intuition, T= Your Truth)

In other words, stop brushing aside what you have a gut sense about and that is most important to you to do what you think the “cool” kids are doing. (The “cool” kids are looking for meaning, too).

As a coach/consultant/mentor (whatever the title, don’t get too focused on that, really it’s all people work) talk about and search for those who can help you build the money you want. Money is what helps our businesses continue to do the great work they do, but make sure, too, to speak and work with people you have an actual connection with (albeit virtual) and that you, deep down, trust that they can help move you to money results, without only focusing on that. If you know you want a depth to that money, choose based on that. But resist pure money for money’s sake being the thing that consistently speaks loudest…

Make revenue a priority (please do) and make sure that you and anyone you work with are keeping, in mind and heart, that this money comes from a human being that deserves great care.

In short, go back to feeling what this industry of one you want to continue to build is about — what do you value and what’s THE value…focus on the “meaning money” you want to make and find someone who will help you get there.

The truest of true is that the coaching industry helps millions of people every day. Hats off. And, it has the best chance to continue if we each hold ourselves accountable for building the legacy we will be most proud of.

As we know with dollar bills, the power of one always adds up.

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,


 Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach

Why I Do Identity Work (Personal Story)

Your identity is who you say you are, not what others or who others say you are, nor the stories or limitations you may feel you come from…

I was born Kryshnna Michelle Boy to Nancy Carolina Motta de Rivera and Willy (Wilhelm) Boy de Gallego.

They were married at 15 and 19 years old, respectively.

I actually liked the name my young parents gave me (ended up liking it even more after starting my yoga practice 12 years ago), but life and my soul’s path had other plans.

Life is the adventure it is so we may learn (remember) that, although the outside can be ever-changing, we’re to find that place inside where there’s always calm…

Listen to the space between the words…

Values, passions, beliefs, truth and a connection to spirit or a spirituality is what gives you identity and longevity (and what keeps you feeling grounded, safe, aligned and in integrity).

I remember receiving one of my first credit reports many, many years ago and seeing about three of the following names on it and laughing. It was a deeply pensive time and yet laughter, my go to, was always in the back pocket of the jeans or jean shorts I loved wearing (laughter ~ a human way to cope or get through AND spirit’s tool as well, likely for a similar reason):

Michelle Kryshnna Boy — five year- old girl living in Guatemala one minute and leaving Guatemala the next on a PanAm flight to a home filled with more gentleness.

Michelle Boy — Twelve-year-old to an eighteen-year-old girl whose grandmother had planned the escape years earlier and embarrassed of the name Kryshnna, took it upon herself to wipe records clean of the name, regardless of what my Mom thought about it. She was one cheeky, strong lady.

Michelle Boy-Ghilotti — Adopted by a new Dad, as gentle as the grandfather I had lived with for seven years, but holding on by a thin dash to a life I wanted to know more about…tell me more about, Oma/Mom. I’d get pieces…but I couldn’t really put them together just so (can’t help but hear Dolly Parton’s “Coat of Many Colors” lyrics here).

Michelle Ghilotti — The cling was a fling and I became a full-fledged Ghilotti, excited to be one thing only realizing, of course, that we are many things from the many different people that had a hand…I didn’t talk openly for years to come about the life that preceded that dash. But, it felt good to live and move on and, at the same time, was confusing — for others as much as myself. What was the real story and, in turn, the real Kryshnna… Michelle…?

Michelle Ghilotti Mandel — The story came full circle, no dash found and now I was both adopted and married. {I had to pause reading this back, gulp}. I wasn’t confused 16 years ago, having asked most, if not all of the tough questions I most needed answers to. I had also told many good friends the real truth and nothing but the truth in regards to this life story and the many details I’m leaving out right now. In fact, it had been years of truth-telling and diving deeper into the story of self, which is likely why taking on the names of these two gorgeous guys felt more than ok, though there was always a part of me who wanted to buck the old-school system…I am not owned and I have my own identity (and am more than at peace with the history inside originally given names), but thank you. Ever felt this way?

In fact, it’s the happiest I remember being throughout this journey of names, people, stories and places. Likely because the two gentlemen I said yes to at 18 and 27 said yes to me with the same verve. In fact, they both asked with such love in their hearts that in many ways, they said yes first. Name X or name Y, I knew who I was ~ deeply loved…isn’t that all we have to know…and give?

Isn’t that all we have to know…and give?

Looking down at that credit report many moons ago, I thought about all the lives we feel we live inside one life: the names, relationships, losses, gains, experiences…they all create a wide spectrum of emotion, resilience, story, perspective, and personality.

When we welcome it all, with a dash — of light or lightness — we’re able to create one hell of a storybook (not to be confused with perfect) life…

It’s no surprise sitting here today, with three total gentlemen in front of me (one a gentle pup), that, coming from that first household which shut a woman down for being herself and coming from a life where my identity was constantly changing, that I do identity work AND that I adopted myself and married into homes that build women up…

God has a sense of humor and gives us exactly the story and life experience needed to do sacred and profound work in the world because we, ourselves, are sacred and profound works…

Though I was confused growing up, it was hard to feel too confused inside love (which I had a lot of) — or, inside the feeling of peace that eventually comes with telling your true story ~ first, of course, to yourself.

Tell your story from yesterday and, as importantly, tell the one you’re stepping into today and tomorrow’s tomorrow.

It’s both that will set you free.

You come from love and are made anew each day inside it…

[My name tag and place card from last night’s event which made me sentimental, thinking all about all of the above. More humor: the name I added to my credit report ~ “Mandel” ~ is Josh’s adopted name as well, so, somewhere in between, maybe inside Nolan, the real and whole truth lies.

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life! 

Life is good,


Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach

Just Because Something Isn’t Working…

Just because something isn’t working, doesn’t mean it’s you. It’s simply part of the process.

Your worth as a person needn’t be called into question every time you’re in the creative (very human) process of getting there…

When you can separate your worth from exploits going wrong (or right!) and begin to process pain and failure in a way that trusts and says “If it didn’t work this time, well then that means I must be getting that much closer to it working” is when you’ll land on the only real process that works every time:

Believing in yourself (the self that can separate her value as a human being from anything that does or does not happen in her life).

In other words, the secret to your success will have been that you kept going.

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,


Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach

“Gurus” (& Old School is the New School)

I want my online business and virtual programs to feel like my business did back in 2001 when I started my business ~ warm, filled with unexpected generosity and with lots of human touch  –  in other words, high-touch and high-tech. After amassing creative ideas that have worked over the years, I’m ready to teach the ideas for you to use in your programs… 

~ Michelle Ghilotti

Dearest female entrepreneur who refuses to do anything that makes her feel out of alignment in business or life and dares to keep as much human contact in her services as possible (even when she thinks she should become even more virtual). 

As many recent articles have shared, the future of online business is offline…..
A M E N.

Anyhow, if you’re curious about that line or feel resonance to it, this letter and HIGH TOUCH experience is for you…

www.michelleghilotti.com/hightouch (plus a special gift to come to my home as my gift to you!!)…

I know you desire to grow your revenue and prosperity in the online world in a unique way  – I am you and I am with you.

I wanted it as badly back in 2001 when I started my business (with no internet marketing in sight!) and still when I started online in 2010 –>> realness, integrity and (online or virtual) programs that value humans, human touch and, therefore, finding ways to help their clients get the wild results they want while feeling wild about delivering that program.

If you’re anything like me, I resisted and didn’t enjoy delivering my first online programs as much as I could have because it felt so distant and, worse yet, the marketing to get me there felt less than desirable to my soul (more on that in another sharing…). 

Starting out seven years ago in the online world (out of my 16 total in business), I wanted to feel good about learning the ins and outs of online business (yet it didn’t always feel that way) and a few years in, I decided to start taking it into my own hands. I wanted to create a new way that joined what worked in the online space and what worked in my soulful space…

I am my only guru.

Five words: You are your only guru.

Sure, the gurus, coaches and mentors that I have hired over the years privately (not in group programs) and paid tens of thousands of dollars to taught me AMAZING things about online marketing (I still use some of these ideas or strategies today), however, just as in 2005 when I knew I needed to bring more of me into my brand expression, I also knew around 2013 that I needed to (also) forge my own path…

Just as they had created their own path and their own revolutionary ideas, you and I can (and will) create our own.

Your new mantra: I will and can create my own revolutionary ideas around how to do online marketing and serve my ideal clients inside virtual programs.

I’ll cut to the chase —

We are high touch entrepreneurs.
We value HIGH TOUCH. Open letter with objections discussed,
We value REAL.
As do our clients.

So, we need to ask more from ourselves and from our creativity in terms of infusing what’s needed inside virtual programs so they feel like anything but!

I’ve finally created a program I’ve been preparing for, it feels like, for the better part of 16 years and I’m giddy and proud (almost as giddy and proud that I get to also host you at my home in a free LIVE business retreat event here) to tell you that there’s nothing like it:

(the first 15 women to register receive two deep
dive additional classes to go into your specific program)

Here’s a look at what we will be covering in each class:

After Class 1, you will leave with —

  • YOUR HIGH TOUCH COMMITMENT:  We can’t start anything without a commitment and devotion…the perfect setup for a program like HIGH TOUCH.
  • RESEARCH TO BACK IT UP & THE PSYCHOLOGY OF HIGH TOUCH: The latest research around how the future of online is offline (and thinking like an event or wedding planner with a little bit of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to keep it interesting)). Humanity Surprise Do inside groups what you’d do outside of them (surprise/delight, like you’re putting on the best event ever).
  • WHAT HIGH TOUCH IS & ITS CONNECTION TO WEALTH: What high touch is and what wealth has to do with it… Wealth is an exchange of money so let’s decide what your energy will look like here (and what boutique is) (send them a letter or card and chocolate).
  • WHY HIGH TOUCH and the comparison of low touch programs.
  • WHAT FEELING IS THE ATTRACTION MEANS and how this is connected to the High Touch movement as well as your branding.
  • THE STEP-BY-STEP/THE ROADMAP: What it takes to create a virtual/online program. In other words, the step-by-step (let’s go through the couture checklist, baby!)
  • THE MINDSET & ENERGY NEEDED: The mindset needed to produce high touch every time, no matter how much your online business grows (as much as this course is about the step-by-step of creating your first or second course), it’s also very much about shifting your mindset from here forward to allow you to create moving, creative programs that stand out).
  • A LOOK AT YOUR BUSINESSES GROWTH STRATEGY: In other words, clarity for on the vision of the kind of business you truly want to create (you can make the money you want building a high-touch business…) 
  • PURPOSE: Your purpose, high-touch purpose statement and 500 vision…
  • CLARITY ON IDEAS: Your list of five program ideas and thoughts around choosing either a four to eight-week program that is considered a “jumpstart” program and why this is helpful.

After Class 2, you will leave with —

  • HIGH TOUCH PRINCIPLES/PRIORITIES or METHOD: Knowing the High Touch Principles is important as they will then help us understand what we might want and need do inside each and every virtual program in order to make sure it’s high touch, high engagement…in other words, highly human and results-based!
  • HIGH TOUCH BOUNDARIES: Determining your High Touch boundaries (if we have the principles as guiding lights, we must also have our boundaries in place)…
  • THE CONNECTION OF HIGH TOUCH WITH SPIRITUALITY: What spirituality and your multi-passionate ways have to do with being High Touch (love this!)
  • A REVIEW ON IDENTITY:  A review of your identity, or, in other words, your brand personality. It’s key for a high-touch program.
  • THE HOW TO CHOOSE CHECKLIST: How to choose the program that is the next best one to invite people into…there’s a strategic “formula”.
  • AN UNDERSTANDING AROUND YOUR SIGNATURE PROCESS: Signature Process Clarity (the 3-8 steps or, in other words, the 3-8 modules or weekly breakdown for your chosen program).

After Class 3, you will leave with  – 

  • TOP THINGS I LEARNED WITH MENTORS LIKE GABBY BERNSTEIN that she didn’t even know she was teaching me about being high touch…
  • RECOMMITTING TO YOUR “MESS” OR, IN OTHER WORDS, INCLUDING STORY WITHIN EACH WEEK OF YOUR PROGRAM: Language (and story!) has so much to do with creating high-touch so let’s dive into it! 
  • WHAT TO INCLUDE IN EACH PROGRAM TO MAKE IT HIGH TOUCH which means what free/freemiums have to do with it and what else to include each and every week to ensure your clients get the results they want and also ensure that your program stands out from the rest (I will share with you the experiential or the “behind-the-scenes” videos I do and why this has increased the high touch feel of my programs and the engagement with my clients).
  • THE FEATURES OF YOUR PROGRAM or in other words your timing (let’s reverse engineer –  I’ll explain what “the best story is told backwards” means), the goal for the # of people you want in the program, the length of the program, the bonuses, the # of trainings or Q&As per week, etc…
  • PRICING SUPPORT: How to price your new and improved high-touch program. 

After Class 4, you will leave with —

  • REVIEWING THE PROGRAM YOU’VE CREATED with all the elements and principles we laid out earlier on.
  • A REMINDER AND HOW-TO AROUND REVERSE ENGINEERING as well as fillable calendars to assist you in the top tasks you need to cover off on.
  • A REVIEW ON SALES PAGES & VIDEO MARKETING: Oh yes, this must be high touch as well!
  • THE TRUTH ABOUT “THE LAUNCH” (and the masculine vs. feminine energies needed to make it happen and rock out your LIVE class).

In short, get ready to have your cashmere socks knocked off.

Let’s keep the human touch in and through your business?

Let’s be and grow the new generation of high touch entrepreneurs and, in many ways, this human touch revolution!

Check out the class features and all the other goodies in store on the web page, the most techie thing about this HIGH TOUCH program! 

Enjoy your business, enjoy your life!

Life is good,

Michelle Ghilotti
Couture Brand Creator & Success Coach

p.s. By joining us in HIGH TOUCH, in November, beyond having completed your next virtual program with all the high-touch strategies and ideas I’ll be sharing with you, you’ll also be making a weekend of it in Los Angeles while attending my business party retreat here at my home (my gift to you). Don’t worry, for those who cannot make it, we will livestream it so you get the benefit(s).

Join us www.michelleghilotti.com/hightouch. I am not totally sure what my cap will be in this business retreat event, so, if learning this information is resonating with you, register now to ensure your spot on my couch.  :-)

p.p.s. For those of you applying for the Success Mastermind, HIGH TOUCH is included in your tuition.